Did you hear about the refuse collector in Pakistan who died after carrying too much rubbish? He was Bin Laden.
My mom always has these great sayings for life, like ""Don't count your chickens before they hatch"" and ""Everybody hates you.""
A midget psychic escaped from prison... I guess you could call them a small medium at large.
Pigs CAN fly... They just gotta pay for two seats.
I call my kettle Jim Carey, because it brews-all-my-tea.