I didn't know what I was missing until I dated a vampire. They always beg you to let them swallow.
My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records Until they kicked me out of the library
Why don't women parachute naked? Cause they would whistle on the way down
Which is more promiscuous, a Northern girl or a Southern girl? A Northern girl says ""You can"" but a Southern girl says ""Y'all can""!
When a man opens a car door for his wife it's either a new car or a new wife