What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe? Rubberto
What's the difference between falling 2 ft and 200 ft? 200 ft: Aaaaaaaaa, bump 2 ft: Bump, aaaaaaaaa (Yes, it's an old, really old joke. Surprisingly haven't seen it here, yet.)
Sometimes I look out over the new construction in my city, old ground being dug up to make room for the new, and I think to myself: I really should have buried the bodies somewhere else.
When I'm away from my girlfriend, I feel incomplete... ... But I love it when we're together again, because she makes me feel hole.
Can you eat me out? What are you doing?! I just wanted some of your pot brownie.