So I was fucking this woman... And she said that she wanted 12 inches and she wanted it to hurt, so I stuck it in 3 times and hit her with a baseball bat.
If schools were really serious about fundraisers, they'd sell drugs and alcohol.
What do you do with 365 used condoms? Melt them down, turn them into a tire, call it a Good/Year.
A robber broke into a perfume store... He raided the register and stole everything in the store, he took every last scent.
My mate wears the same jacket when he's impersonating either Matt Damon or Hugh Jackman. Maybe he's Bourne with it, maybe it's Wolverine.