[first day as coast guard] Boss: 7 people died on your watch today Me [looking off into the distance]: yes but the coast is fine
So, I'm painting a big blue rectangle in my backyard. So Google Earth will think that I have a pool :/
""Everything you say can and will be used against you"" should be included in marriage vows.
He always tells the jokes out of order Why would Tarantino be a terrible comedian?
Is that your cat? No, she's adopted. Me and my boyfriend, we can't have cats.