Subway, Eat flesh. (If Hannibal Lector owned chain restaurants.)
Your opinion is like a headache Everyone's had one and no one gives a fuck
""What did Fifty Cent say to his Grandmother when she made him a sweater?"" ""GEE, YOU KNIT!?!?""
Alcoholics don't run in my family... They stumble around breaking things
A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds section with the heading ""Wife Wanted."" - The next day he received a hundred letters saying ""You can have mine.""