A horse walks in a bar Bartender: why the long face? Horse: I just found out I have cancer.
If God made anything better than pussy he kept it for himself.
Do you know the Greek version of Monopoly? It's called Monopoulos and you just borrow all the money from the bank. Everyone loses.
Standing up quickly is my Six Flags.
Me: I snuck in my own candy and a drink Her: This is a funeral home Me: Without a snack bar