5: I went potty. Me: Did you remember to wipe this time? 5: No. Me: Why? 5: It's faster my way. I don't know how to counter that argument.
Little Red Riding Hood sure took a long time to realize the talking wolf in drag wasn't her grandma.
What happens when you mix pandas and ammonium? Pandemonium breaks out.
Women are like squirrels, very cute from a distance but will fight when you try to pick them up and get them in your car.
Why is it called an ""almond"" in the tree but an ""amond"" when it falls to the ground? When it falls to the ground, it knocks the 'ell out of it.
