Just heard they're investigating a slaughterhouse in California for animal cruelty. IT'S A SLAUGHTERHOUSE
Cop: Do you know how fast you were going, ma'am? Me: I left my pills in my other bag & I'm about to get REALLY chatty. C: You're free to go.
What thought can you easily share with someone else without using words? That you **had** to fart.
How do you make a starfish shine? Drop it in sparkling water.
What did the neckbeard say while giving the eulogy for his extremely flatulent friend? Rip in peace