I'd buy more Tupperware containers from the supermarket if they came with cupcakes in them.
People hate when I make my elevator joke But it works on so many levels
How can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator? One you'll see in a while, the other you'll see later. Credit to Mitch hedburg
How does Ice-Cube drink his milk? Straight Outta Carton.
I couldn't decide how much lettuce to buy Until someone helped me think it through. Turns out, two heads are better than one.