Don't believe anything a weatherman says until he takes off the jacket and rolls up the sleeves.
Whenever I work out, I wear a push-up bra so I can do more push-ups. If I didn't, it'd be so embarrassing and people would laugh at me.
I met a one-legged woman outside of a club the other day. She was a bouncer.
A Priest, rapist and a pedophile walk into a bar And orders a drink
A policeman sees two boys, one with batteries, the other with fireworks He charges the first boy and lets the other off.