so you have to like me for me.
― Taylor Swift
Sage as Victim
It's a hopeless situation because once your reputation is damaged, you're on the defence.
Telling people Sage is toxic would be tantamount to using male code words to minimize or dismiss her.
As I said, it's a hopeless situation and I feel helpless because everyone knows when you protest too much, you're at fault.
Actually, you're at fault if you protest at all.
So, basically I'm screwed and just have to trust people who know me, not what the rumor mill says about me.
But honestly, that's one to grow on...
Yeah, good luck with that.
I feel bad about telling Henry to dispose of the flowers, but honestly, that was Sage's entire purpose―to embarrass me in front of my co-workers.
I'm doing what I learned to do when teaching undergraduates―take away the audience effect. Never get into an argument with someone in public.
The same applies to a manipulative ex who's trying to shame me in front of my peers. I don't think I'll even confront her in private.
She wants to lure me into taking her bait and I'm not going to do it.
She's not able to regulate her emotions, but I have self-control. I'm going to be the adult in the room. I'm not adding fuel to her fire.
"That's a unique point of view for you," Norm observes over lunch. "You're usually combative when attacked. Why the change?"
"Maybe I'm growing up," I mutter morosely.
"You sure you're not trying to bury this and protect your reputation?"
"You mean I'm more worried about the blowback from this affecting the project?"
"Maybe," he hedged, "or maybe you're worried about the embarrassment of explaining why an ex would send you a death wish and maybe you think it might jeopardize your budding romance with Eve."
The moment he said it, my face fell, I felt exposed.
"You're right, " I sighed, "I'm not that noble. Frankly, I think both motives were in the back of my mind. Do I disappoint you?"
"Not really. The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can really know it?"
"That's really profound."
Norm clapped me affectionately on the shoulder.
"Cheer up, Pal―that's not my wisdom―that's from Jeremiah, but it's my way of saying we're all flawed. It's part of the human condition."
"So what do you think I should do?"
"I'm not going to tell you how to run your life. Just follow your heart, Eli. Be real. That's all I've got."
"You know what? You're right. I was trying to con myself into figuring Sage would lose interest and depart. That's not going to happen."
"No, you're going to have to face her sooner or later―just stay cool and don't act out of anger―that way, you keep your options open."
"I can do that," I tell him.
I really can do that, I tell myself.