Alex felt totally defeated and depressed. He hadn't been honest with Elizabeth and had only hired her so he could determine why her face appeared when he used electric needling on a brain belonging to a deceased donor.
He figured by keeping her near he could discover the connection, especially since she'd be helping with the research.
What he didn't know was the brain he was experimenting with belonged to Mark, Elizabeth's deceased fiance. Alex had unwittingly involved Elizabeth in the task of studying the brain of the man she had loved.
Yes, it was an unintentional and unfortunate error but Alex had involved Elizabeth in a ghoulish experiment that could have been easily avoided had he not obsessively pursued her.
Truth was, he was fascinated and attracted by her beauty and used the project as a way to get close to her.
There was no way of avoiding the fact that hiring her as a research assitant was an unintentional error, still Alex was responsible for recruiting her under false pretenses.
It's true that lies spin a tangled web, Alex mused, but why is it that wise sayings about lying are most often afterthoughts that torment us with guilt and offer nothing to remedy the situation?
Over the next few weeks Alkex tried many times to detach himself from Elizabeth and each time he failed. He felt helpless and miserable. He loved Elizabeth totally but that same love kept him from hurting her a second time.
On her part, Elizabeth sensed Alex's turmoil. The conflicting signals he sent confused and frightened her. She waited patiently for ASlex to broach the topic but when he didn't she decided to cofront him.
"Alex, I seem to be making you unhappy lately," she began. "Maybe you're afraid of getting involved in a serious relationship."
Alex squirmed and protested, "No, Elizabeth, actually I have strong feelings for you but I'm not sure I'm the right man for you."
"Is it because of my past elationship with Mark?" she asked.
The question caught Alex by surprise and his reaction confirmed the truth in her mind.
"O, Alex, I did love Mark but now love you. Mark is dead, Alex, and I've got to move on with my life. His memory will not come between us because I've come to terms with my feelings now."
But her mentioning the memory of Mark was too much for Alex—his guilt was so strong for having invaded their privacy that he came apart all at once.
Before he could help it he blurted out, "I should never have become involved with you."
Elizabeth was devastated. "I thought you cared about me, Alex."
Alex realized the impact of what he had said.
"I do care about you, Elizabeth, and that's why I'm so uposet. I haven't been up front with you and told you what I've been really working on—the real project behind the project."
Elizabeth looked puzzled. "I'm confused, Alex. What are you talking about?"
The truth was out and Alex knew it was the moment of disclosure. He had no idea how to tell Elizabeth without wounding her further.
The anguish in her eyes told him whatever he'd say would completely crush her but not saying anything was no longer an option.
He hated himself for what he had done but more than that, he hated the fact that she had put her trust in him and he had betrayed it.
The moment was what the French call a petite death—a brutal but tender cathartic climax to both their lives and Alex was uncertain of how the event would turn out.
