New Car Disease

08:43 PM - Facebook

The brand new car disease, pass this on for good luck. You'll never guess what this car disease is all about. See, sometimes, a car hits another car and people die. So, we must stay home until there are no new deaths from the car disease. We have to ban cars. Wait, that's crazy. Alright, we won't ban cars. But only one person per car because then less people will die in car accidents. One of the causes to this new disease, scientists claim, has something to do with this magical substance called alcohol. See, when an individual has too much beer in one's blood, the person goes mad and runs off a bridge into a ditch while murdering somebody's wife and three daughters. So, scientists agree the best way to stop the spread of alcohol from intoxicating each other is to wear masks. So, be safe and wear a mask to keep the alcohol from taking over your body, only you can prevent forest fires says Smokey the Bear. Captain Planet is our hero, gonna reduce pollution down to zero starting with alcohol. Also, no driving pass 08:00 PM because that is when alcohol likes to come out and play. You don't want to play with alcohol. Hide in your house where alcohol and especially wine can never ever find you, you're safe there, trust us, we're scientists and we do this all the time, so it must be true.