Hello my hive friends, it's been a long time that I am inactive here. I miss being here too but there were times that there are some things we need to prioritize. I hope everyone is okay here.
I am emotionally down at this very moment and I don't have someone to talk to and I remember this platform where I can open everything and no one will judge me so I decided to write it down to share my emotion and feelings right now and to release this emotion. I hope you don't mind and I hope you will understand.
I am scrolling one of my social media account and saw a video of someone I know about surprising her dad in his 75th birthday. The surprise was successful and they are so happy. While watching, I am smiling too because I saw that the celebrant is really surprised and so happy seeing his children his previous workmates, friends and closest family.
But, before the video ends, my emotion suddenly changed,I missed someone, I remember someone, my heart beats a little faster, my eyes is in pain and my tears fall. Then, I can hear myself crying,yes crying with sounds and no one hears it because I am here with my 7 month old baby who is also sleeping in his swing.
I missed my father, he died last February 08, 2022. It's been three years that I don't have a father and my life is not complete anymore. Many changed, events, family celebration is really incomplete. If someone is missing in your life, no one can fill that emptiness within you but we are trying to go on. Life seems normal because life must go on. People look at me being so brave but deep inside, I felt so weak when we talk about fathers. They look at me that seems so okay but there are really times that I missed him so much. There were mornings that I woke up crying because I dreamed of him. There were serenade moment that I cried because we serenaded an old man and I remember my father again and now watching a video of a father celebrating his birthday. We can't do it anymore because he is gone.
Life is like that, people will come, make us happy and complete and then time will come too that they wil go, leaving us incomplete, sad and trying to stand on our own. We don't know who will leave first so just enjoy every moment. Life is short, so enjoy and cherish every moment with your parents, with your family, with your kids, with your husband, with your wife and to your loved ones.
Sigh, thank you for reading this and sorry for sharing this emotion with you. I cried and it's normal and writing about what you feel is sometimes makes you feel better and that's what I felt right now. I am feeling better now. Thanks for being here.
I hope I can be here again soon. See you again next time.
