at this point, the only way I can be ok with my current partner sleeping with his former lover is if I do not have to think about it, and if I do not have to know for sure that it is happening.
However, we have committed to transparency. My need to not know necessarily blocks and makes transparency impossible. My need to tell lies to myself, or lies of omission, goes against how much I value honesty.
I need to know that our relationship is its own entity, that the motives for it are pure and that it would exist even absent the lover who was unwilling to give him partnership the way I am willing to show up for it. At this point, at the near very beginning of our partnership, I feel that requesting sexual exclusivity is the only way I can know the answer and still be honest with myself and continue our commitment to transparency.
