Pessimism refers to a general belief that things will go bad or worse. A pessimist have this kind of aura that could dampen the most vibrant atmosphere; and that's me.
I am so lazy, I just watch tv and read books; barely eat and sleep.
I'm always grumpy, always angry with shouting and breaking things.
Yes, I was so reckless for I was so convinced that things will still be destroyed even if I'll take care of it; may it be tangible things or friendships/relationships.
I was so toxic.
Well, I used to be.
It wasn't easy path I had tread to be what mindset I possess right now. I've been beaten with very unfavorable circumstances that I won't live long (I can't think I must live) unless I'll see it in different light.
I am always sick physically and I do believe it has something to do with my mental health. If the heart and mind is so corrupted, it's impossible to have a healthy body.
What changed?
I changed my mind, renewed my mind; I fill it up with much goodness and I started reading positive stories, watched lots of inspirational movies. I noticed though, it doesn't help as I have always go back to how I was and yes, since I've been a God-fearing person, it stabilize it.
When people upsets me, all I think is, I should react accordingly. It doesn't always go as I think but that's where the grace of God comes in, the unlimited favor as long as I seek Him and to do what He pleases.
I'm more smiley now and I greet people well,with kindness I look at kids and animals alike. I don't hate them or think of harming them anymore.
REDEEMED PESSIMIST.
I am still a pessimist, I still think that things are getting worse, it's just that I'm redeemed/changed my mind that I face tomorrow with blessed hope.
Overwhelming ugliness and chaos in my personal space and so is the world condition but as I think there's sovereign God who sees it all, it makes me withstand it and doesn't think "it's more profitable to die" as I used to.
Bottom line:
Life will always be unfair, people are cruel and you'll always struggle; people may think what you believe in is a myth but hey, it's worth it if you'll be able to keep your sanity and live the life you have offered.
All photos are mine.鈽猴笍
馃拰Thank you so much for all the reblogging and upvotes, I can't return the favor as much as I want to for I'm saving my HP to post.
馃挍Please admin, let me join as a member. I have so much past rage and jealousy to share and well, happiness too in my personal small wins. Thank you.
馃I don't know how payout will change this but hopefully, I'll be able to actively participate more than I do now.
Aja!