“The single biggest thing I’ve done to improve my relationship with others, was to improve the relationship I have with myself. I became lovable when I was able to love myself. No one can love you, if you don’t love you. Accept, nurture and love yourself as you are. You’ll be amazed how much it will also change how others perceive you.” ― Akiroq Brost
Over the years, I have spent too much time and energy worrying what other people think and say about me - Dreading their judgements on my character, physical appearance, actions and more and it always left me feeling unworthy, with an inclination to constantly want to justify myself.
As I have grown in age and maturity, I have started to embrace “me”, as well as develop a healthy love for my character make-up, including all the little bits and pieces that compile me into the unique person I am. This goes right from what others say and think about me to how I talk to myself, what I think about myself and what I see.
I was extremely self-conscious of my legs when I was growing up. Why? I have absolutely no damn idea! Lol - because as grown woman I have been enlightened to the fact that (according to the opinions of others) I have a particularly good looking pair of pins. haha!
But this knowledge was not present in my mind when I was younger. I literally LIVED in pants. You NEVER saw me in a dress -
unless I was forced to wear one. Looking back, I think that is really sad! – That at such a young age I had developed such an unhealthy and extreme distaste for my own body. This perspective stuck with me, right through until my early twenties… only then did I start to explore other wardrobe items and “accept” that I actually might look good.
Oh how things have changed in the last decade - These days, during the summer months, you will seldom see me in anything but really teeny shorts. At long last, I have gotten to a point where I am HAPPY with myself physically. I no longer colour my strawberry blonde hair, I embrace it. I also love the freckles that got me so frequently teased as a kid. It is wonderfully liberating to have attained such a healthy point of self-acceptance. It sure took me long enough to get here – and I will NEVER allow ANYBODY or anything to take that away from me again!
The other side of things has been working to develop acceptance and self-love, internally. This part of the journey has been a little more difficult. Life’s knocks en route have caused a bit of a “dance” with two steps forward, one step back - but I am winning that battle too.
The crux of the matter is the point, where your internal - and external confidence and self-acceptance (or lack thereof) meet. As I said before, I have always fretted too much about the disapproval of others, irrespective of which part of me it was aimed at. Now why should I feel like I have to apologise to anybody for ANYTHING about myself or my actions – unless they are in some way harmful or hurtful…? I don't think I should and I won’t – anymore. I am not insisting that you like me, so if you don’t, then by all means, wave goodbye.
In addition to that - I am absolutely entitled to my opinions, without justification – just as everybody else is and I will continue to voice them. This is me - lump it or leave it :)
Until next time...
Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx
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