WE264 || It's hard for me to recognize, my internal turbulence ...

Best regards, Galenkp...

I would like to stop procrastinating, it's an inner struggle every time I face fulfilling my day-to-day agenda. Even to make the agenda, sometimes, I am faced with not wanting to get into the routine, especially the personal one.

I am always willing to do things differently, so sticking to a monotonous, repetitive task costs me....and life is full of that, especially at home (which, by the way, never end).

For example, if it causes me to wash and dry clothes, I do it at night, and I do it with pleasure, maybe this housework, it was my turn to do it two days ago....hahaha total my mother would say, "Nobody has died of dirty."

Another aspect that I find difficult to accept is when my overall health is not well. It is difficult for me to recognize my inner case even when I am a woman who seeks knowledge NOT as an accumulation of data but as a remedy (medicine) for my inner self.

Why? Because for me learning is a sacred act, a way that I have to resist the meaninglessness of my life that keeps me away from the noise of the world and the internal noise.

I'm not talking about going to college or reading more books. I'm saying that when my soul trembles, the pain burns inside me because there are moments when I feel that nothing makes sense, why I don't accept what happens to me? I just "don't run away from my responsibility", I don't react blindly, nor do I try to cover the hole with distractions that lead me to procrastinate.

Many times I don't recognize myself, I do everything I have to do with my work, with my family, with my earrings. But inside I feel so much turbulence that I feel that I am not well. It's like being fulfilled with life but with the heart turned off. That's also a form of emotional exhaustion that makes me procrastinate.

I think the best thing I can do in the face of the turbulence of my soul is to learn from myself, from the other, from what hurts and from what was.

Janitze 🌹