Sometimes, a single message arrives, "just" when it is needed the most! ...

In a crisis... No relationship should require us to disappear little by little in order to stay in it.

There is a time when continuing to give stops being generosity and starts to become a silent way of betraying us.

To retire from a place we still love takes immense courage. It is to accept that our good intentions cannot do the emotional work of two people. It is to understand that not everything is saved with patience, that not every distance is shortened by giving more and that love, when it is supported only by one, does not survive the passage of life... Ever...!

Sometimes closing a door doesn't mean we stop feeling. It means that we finally begin to listen to each other, that we stop negotiating our peace of mind, justifying the unjustifiable and waiting for someone to recognize a value that we ourselves have been questioning for too long.

Not all goodbyes are a defeat. Some are the way back to the person we had left waiting while we tried to be enough for someone else.

Today I share this reflection, sometimes we need to remember that choosing oneself can also hurt... but it hurts much more, to abandon oneself so that another does not leave. At least like this, I see my self-love not only after 60, and so...

There is another phrase that says Give your absence, to the one who does not value your presence. This reflection that I share has many edges, but the common thing is that many people do not leave because they do not lack courage, but because they have too much fear: fear of loneliness, of starting over or of believing that they will never find something better. That fear leads us to tolerate indifference, manipulation and power games, convinced that any company is better than being alone (and sadly many people suffer from the same thing, today and always). But, staying where love hurts every day is not loyalty, it's a condemnation.

When a relationship consumes our peace, dignity and self-esteem, leaving ceases to be a defeat and becomes an act of self-love. We do not leave to punish anyone or to be persecuted; we leave because we understood that no one deserves to live begging for the affection, respect or interest of another person. Sometimes the most difficult decision is also the one that saves us the most. as we say here, in my land: "Where they don't want us, not even the dust on our shoes."

There are stages of life when we don't just lose people... we also lose versions of ourselves. The full-time mom or dad. The wife, or the husband. The professional. The caretaker. The person who knew exactly what his place was in the world. And when those roles change or disappear, we often don't understand why we feel such a deep emptiness.

We are not exaggerating. We're not the only ones. And, above all, we are not “going crazy”. We are going through a grief that almost no one talks about. I talk about the loss of identity, of the ego, about why it costs so much to accept these changes, how to go through them in a healthy way and when it is important to seek professional help... Sometimes the answer is to withdraw, to leave... Why do we confuse love with resistance? I read you and comments

Janitze 🌴