Life is full of moments you didn't expect, low blows that surprise you and the first thing that comes to your mind is “fuck, WHY? "They say that for those things, there are no answers, but this one filled my soul". If, it resonates with you, it's because you needed to read, this, as much as I…
It's kind of like being able to know your password, have the location, meet all your friends and still go to bed thinking, “What if they're hiding something from me?"Which makes us live constantly needing guarantees to have security.And be careful with this, sometimes watching gives us a break, because it makes us feel that we are doing something to avoid being hurt...
But that feeling has a short-lived effect. The truth is that loving also implies accepting that we will never be able to completely control what the other decides to do.
Security has to be built from another place, looking at the relationship we have, the coherence of the other and also what part of our history is activated when that miedo. If we reached the point where living on alert became our way of loving, maybe we have something to improve. Besides, whoever holds an awkward conversation with you, it's because he loves you
Surely the demand appears there "By now I should know how to solve this". But experience is also knowing how to recognize when it's time to learn again.
Look, trying to control everything that happens in the world ends up exhausting. The real difference appears when we learn to set limits, to decide what enters our space and what stays outside. It's not about ignoring reality. It's about walking in it without losing your balance. It is always good to remember that what we know is worth a lot, let's just avoid making it the limit of what we can still learn... Have you ever been a co-driver in your own car? Someone else drives, one clutching the seat thinking "I wouldn't have crossed this way". Sometimes it happens the same with life.
There are people who come into our life and leave us a teaching that we would never have chosen to learn through pain. And yet, we learn.
We learn that there are things that have nothing to do with the other: the fear of being alone, the need to feel chosen, the habit of justifying, the hope that someone will change, the difficulty of setting limits or that old idea that loving a lot means putting up with a lot. That's where a bad experience can become a criterion.
For a long time we confused strength with resistance. We thought that leaving was to fail, that setting limits was to be hard, that saying "this far” meant that we hadn't loved enough, and no... It's not like that.
Today I can look at certain stories of my life without resentment, but also without nostalgia. For me, growing up has also been that: to stop asking myself only who I am in front of and to start observing who I become when I am in front of that person.
There are relationships that we do not need to repeat to prove that we have already learned. So yes... thanks for the learning. But there's no need for a second season. 😂
There are people who have already perfectly fulfilled their role in our history, and they can stay exactly where they are: in the past.
Janitze.🌷
Separator made with Canva by 
Any images in this post are taken with my iPhone 12, the Infinix pro-note 30 or with the camera eighties Rolleiflex 2.8 f, and edited by me with Canva
Translation with |DeepL