Deciding to become a mother or not, social pressure? ..

We are architect of our destiny...

One of my daughters has a solid career, she is an oral surgeon, she has a stable relationship, and she decided that children are not part of her story. This leads me to analyze the belief that has been normalized for years, and that is the fact that society assumes that a woman without children has something pending, incomplete, as if she had something to explain.

And that belief is built collectively, in the comments of the family, in the questions of the meetings of any kind, in the look that says ”it's going to get to you".

They have no idea how many women want to ”solve that problem" of the absent desire for motherhood in them, when the reality is that there is nothing to solve in them.

The point here goes beyond wanting or not to be a mother, the issue is that it has been assumed that all women should want it, that motherhood is the destination and everything else is the diversion, or a waste of time; and it doesn't go that way, the real truth is that when a woman chooses from her own desire, the only thing she needs from others is respect and self-esteem to sustain her decision beyond the tide against...

Because in the end, a life built from consistency with who you really are is worth a lot more than a life built to fit in with what others expected of you.

I think there are women who have children and that just makes them good mothers and less happy. Because a child is not synonymous with fulfillment or happiness. A woman's true fulfillment comes from living with purpose.

Of course, it's nice to be a mother, I know from experience, because once you have children, you can't live without them. But it is also nice to decide not to be a mother, because every woman has the right to freely exercise how to live her life.

Fitting into a mold imposed by society is the perfect recipe for resentment. A woman is fulfilled by being happy, doing the things that make her feel full, whatever she includes in her life is her decision and the rest of the people should not have an opinion, much less judge.

Respecting that freedom is the only judgment that should exist.

Sometimes I think that society in relation to the issue of having or having children is really disturbing, if you decide not to have them they think that you are a "weird" person, and it's not like that, every human being has free will and came to this world to live in different ways, my daughter says that she feels full as she is, she doesn't need children to feel a complete woman and more woman than another. This is an exercise of freedom from moral debts to no one, which many people find difficult to process... Problem of them!

Having a child is beautiful, I love my children, But many times, we lose ourselves being or trying to be the best mothers for our children, and without having all the work and responsibility that entails, let's not romanticize motherhood, women who do not want to be mothers, we must respect them, I applaud them, because it is to understand that motherhood should be a conscious decision, not a sacrifice of one's identity.

What we should normalize is to celebrate that every woman designs her life according to her own rules and moral codes. It takes a lot of character to prioritize self-honesty over social judgment.

Janitze.🌷