Do you think nothing has happened? ...

It is worth paying attention...

Sometimes you know something isn't right in a relationship long before “something” happens.

Not because there is an exact rule that says yes up to here and no from here. You know this because you start behaving differently.

You start taking too much care of the phone. To think before telling something. To delete a conversation that, in theory, should not be deleted. To wait for a message with more emotion than you would like to acknowledge. To think about that person at times when you used to think about your partner.

And that's where I think it's worth paying attention.

Many times we reassure ourselves by saying: But I haven't done anything, he hasn't touched me a hair... And it may be true. Maybe nothing physical has happened, there hasn't been a statement, there hasn't been that line crossed that we all easily recognize. But emotionally in you something did start to change.

Someone started taking up space. To generate expectation. To become a refuge, company or illusion.

And for me, that's one of the most complex distinctions in a couple's relationship: understanding that infidelity doesn't always start when a physical line is crossed. Many times it starts earlier, with small permissions that one is given little by little.

Infidelity from the therapeutic point of view, begins in the need to create an external link to the relationship where there is emotional intimacy and this can be from a glance... Etc.

Temptations must be avoided!!!!

The infidel, he or she, will always say nothing happened there... I stopped a married man recently. He sent me messages, prayers, memes, compliments; occasionally we talked about work and he asked me about my relationship within my marriage. I had already told her that I don't date committed men, because I am a committed woman. And one day she sent me the video of Señora Bonita; there I said to her: Here the one with the owner is another, and if you are bored, you should be honest. Don't open the door to the devil, who comes and takes everything you take for granted in life. This was the holy remedy! So he won't bother me anymore. One more message. One more conversation. One more confidence. One more secret.

Until one day you look back and realize that what seemed small has become a parallel world. One can start being unfaithful long before crossing that physical line that we all recognize.To sleep peacefully is not to have always been right. It is knowing that your values, your words and your promises went in the same direction.

What do you think? At what point do you think infidelity really starts?, and ... You still think that... has nothing happened? I think I need some peace of mind.

Janitze.🌷