In our last story I told you how Yeshua Groups was born and gave you our manifesto. That was more or less the official story. I thought you might also enjoy the unoffical story - some candid reflections as I look back on how far we've come. But let me warn you, it hasn't been all sunshine and roses!
Why don't I start by talking about success. I didn't mention this yet but I did all that work getting the network off the ground on the side. I was still working fulltime on Holy Language Institute, teaching and directing. And it's a good thing too because, while we had lots of people stepping up to start groups, it was also a money pit. In 2017 I put in about 300 work hours, which is just about two months of regular work weeks. That year we received $300 in donations, with my work hours and donations for the following years working out to roughly the same. I really like the recurring 300 because it reminds me of Gideon's army and how small groups can do great things! But yeah, that's not enough to support a family unless you're in Russia or China where minimum wage is $1/hour. It left me facing a question that I wrote out in that initial phase but didn't tell you about yet. "How do I define success?" The answer to that question is why I didn't give up. I was called to do this, and I define success by faithfulness to the call.
And there were other reasons to keep going. I've wished many times that there was something like this when I was young and searching and desperate. Now, there was! We had rasised a flag to which restless souls who were sick of the status quo and wanted something more could rally. And we weren't just offering hope - we had a plan. Making that available meant the world to me. So did watching the lights come on as people started groups and began to experience it for themselves.
Success is a funny thing too. It's all relative. Some people would say wow to see the size of our email list or social media following or to hear that since our inception we've had approximately one person a day step up to start a group. But all I can see is the size of the world and the number of people out there who need this and don't even know it yet, and I can't rest. Also, get this - I've had several people tell me they started local and online groups that I didn't even know about because they never joined the network. Part of me was disappointed because the rest of us missed out and another part of me was concerned because groups like that don't last, but more than anything I was encouraged. I realized that we're never going to actually know the difference we're making.
I'll share another personal struggle with you and then something happy. I don't think I've ever felt so frustrated before. It's like coming down from the mountaintop and trying to tell people what you've seen and having them all just look at you weird and keep going. How are you supposed to travel back to the 1970s and convince everyone that they need a smart phone when they don't even know that is? "Getting together to tell the stories of Scripture and talk about them, campfire style" but unless somebody's actually experienced it for themselves they don't seem to get it. I feel like I'm 50 years ahead of my time, trying to tell people that the Gutenberg era of literacy is over and the Zuckerberg era of orality has begun and everybody thinks I'm talking about dental hygiene or Bible stories for kids or Third World missions and I'm like NOOOOOOO IT'S HEEEEEERE!!! I also get frustrated when people are presented with this opportunity to start a group and for a split second they have this chance to do something that will actually make disciples, not to mention make their own lives better and more beautiful, and then the next second they kill it with a lame excuse. I know, there are some people who legitimately can't. But in most of the cases I've seen they're just lying to themselves so they don't have to face any hard truths or change. I confess, I don't do well watching that.
Whew! Hopefully that wasn't too heavy. Let's move on to something lighter now and I'll tell you about something that always makes me happy. Have you ever had a s'more? Like those graham cracker sandwiches with melted chocolate and marshmallow in the middle? They're so yummy. No wonder people go camping. So here's a fun question. How is the s'more a picture of getting together with your friends to tell the stories of Scripture and talk about them? There's this one page on the Yeshua Groups site where we creatively answer that question and then give people the option to start a group so they can spend more time eating with their friends. I don't know why but that page always makes me happy. Maybe because I love eating? But seriously, have you ever noticed how central eating together was for the early disciples? They called it the Lord's supper, not the Lord's snack yo! They also called their gatherings love feasts. When was the last time you went to a religious service that came anywhere close to that? I actually know of one house church pioneer who told new groups to just eat together for the first six months. Skip all the religious stuff and just eat. I think his assumption was that between bites they'd interact on a more natural level and might actually get to know each other. If so I think that could actually be a really good idea!
Thanks for letting me share these reflections with you. Here, while you're at it you might as well check out the eating page for yourself and tell me if the s'more is a good metaphor for Yeshua Groups or not. Just don't eat your screen. https://yeshuagroups.com/eat.html
