"¿Cuándo empezarás a hacer tu vida?", le dijo su padre cuando la vio un sábado, en pijamas y leyendo un libro. Ella fingió no escuchar y siguió con su lectura, estaba aburrida de su insistencia de que saliera, de que consiguiera novio, de que "formara una familia". ¿Acaso no estaba viva? ¿Acaso no tenía ya una familia? ¿Acaso si sus metas o pasatiempos no estaban en la lista del guion universal, entonces aquello no era estar vivo? ¿Por qué cuando pasas de los treinta la gente se pone tan intensa respecto a lo que debes querer de la vida? Parece que se estresan si no te ven corriendo para tachar los ítems de la lista ancestral.
Sí, aún vivía en casa de sus padres, pero ellos no la mantenían porque tenía trabajo y tal vez no le daría para lujos, pero cubría lo necesario. ¿Esposo, hijos? ¿Acaso debería casarse con cualquiera para llenar esa casilla? Su amiga Laura decía que los libros le habían dañado la cabeza, que tenía estándares demasiado altos y quizá fuera cierto. Había tenido citas, incluso una relación muy larga, pero al final no querían las mismas cosas, no esperaban lo mismo de la vida, para que seguir intentando algo que estaba destinado al fracaso. Quizá algún día conocería a alguien que compartiera su visión del mundo, ¿y si no? Eso no le quitaba el sueño. En cuanto a los niños, le encantaban, pero prefería ser la tía y poder devolverlos al final del día ¿Acaso eso estaba mal?
Maricela, pensó en ese momento en su amiga Laura y sintió mucha tristeza. En Laura, que se casó demasiado joven, mucho antes de encontrarse a sí misma, mucho antes de tener un sueño propio; que dejó de estudiar porque su suegra se enfermó y ella se dedicó a cuidarla. ¿Y cómo le pagó su esposo? Le pagó engañándola varias veces. Ahora siente que a los 35 es muy tarde para estudiar y se siente incompleta por no haber podido tener hijos, además siente que separarse es botar a la basura casi 20 años. Esa es la vida que construyó Laura.
Pero Maricela, también pensó en Danna y pensar en ella le hizo sonreír. Seguramente su padre se pensaba en Danna cuando le decía que hiciera una vida. Pues nunca había conocido a nadie que tuviera tantos hijos, fuera tan feliz y se sintiera tan realizada. Con 4 hijos, un esposo cariñoso y una cafetería que atender, Danna parece tener la familia perfecta. Claro, seguro no todo es perfecto, pero ella parece ser feliz.
Maricela no se enojó con su papá por la insistencia, pues sabia que él solo quería verla feliz y que tenga a alguien a su lado que la cuide cuando él falte. Aunque la verdad es, que todos tenemos vidas diferentes, expectativas diferentes, sueños diferentes y todos están bien. Que alguien no se case, no estudie, no tenga hijos o no haga cualquiera de las cosas que parecen estar en la lista de las metas socialmente aceptadas, no significa que viva una vida triste o incompleta. Todos merecemos vivir la vida que queramos sin ser juzgados.
Al final, Maricela dejó el libro, llamó a Laura y la invitó a tomar un café en donde Danna. Le habían dado muchas ganas de ver a sus amigas. Ella tenía una vida y una familia, una que se extendía más allá de los lazos convencionales.
"When will you start living your life?" her father told her when he saw her one Saturday, in her pajamas and reading a book. She pretended not to listen and continued reading her, she was bored with her insistence that she go out, that she get a boyfriend, that she "start a family." Wasn't she alive? Didn't she already have a family? If her goals or hobbies weren't on the list of the universal script, then that wasn't being alive? Why do people get so intense about what you should want out of life when you're over thirty? They seem to get stressed if they don't see you running to cross off the items on the ancestral list.
Yes, she still lived in her parents' house, but they didn't support her because she had a job and maybe she wouldn't have the luxury, but she covered what was necessary. Husband, children? Should she marry anyone to fill that box? Her friend Laura said that her books had damaged her head, that she had too high standards, and maybe it was true. She had been on dates, even a very long relationship, but in the end they didn't want the same things, they didn't expect the same things from life, so why keep trying something that was destined to fail. Maybe one day she would meet someone who shared her view of her world, what if not? That didn't stop him from dreaming about her. As for the children, she loved them, but she preferred to be their aunt and be able to give them back at the end of the day. Was that wrong?
Maricela, at that moment she thought of her friend Laura and she felt very sad. In Laura, who married too young, long before finding herself, long before having a dream of her own; that she stopped studying because her mother-in-law got sick and she dedicated herself to taking care of her. And how did her husband pay him? He repaid her by cheating on her several times. She now feels that at 35 she is too late to study and she feels incomplete for not having been able to have children, and she also feels that separating is throwing away almost 20 years. That's the life Laura built.
But Maricela also thought about Danna and thinking about her made her smile. Surely her father was thinking of Danna when he told her to make a life. Well, she had never met anyone who had so many children, she was so happy and she felt so fulfilled. With 4 children, a loving husband, and a coffee shop to run, Danna seems to have the perfect family. Sure, not everything is perfect, but she seems to be happy.
Maricela did not get angry with her father because of her insistence, because she knew that he only wanted to see her happy and for her to have someone by her side to take care of her when he is missing from her. The truth is though, we all have different lives, different expectations, different dreams and everyone is fine. Just because someone doesn't get married, don't study, have children, or don't do any of the things that seem to be on the list of socially accepted goals, doesn't mean they live a sad or incomplete life. We all deserve to live the life we want without being judged.
In the end, Maricela put down the book, called Laura and invited her to have a coffee where Danna, who had really wanted to see her friends. She had a life and a family, one that extended beyond conventional ties.
All images are my property, taken with Redmi 9a phone and edited in Snapseed.
