Refusal can save time and energy

Everyone wants to be happy in life, and expecting it is very natural. We expect that people will care about us and show their love when necessary. Maybe that's the reason most of us try to satisfy others and win their hearts. There is no compulsory rule to satisfy everyone, but we desire to live a happy life with the people whom we like. Many times, we don't hesitate to push our boundaries harder just to help them, and we think they are the people whom we like, and it is one kind of unofficial responsibility to make them feel better and give a helping hand if it costs us a little. As we think they are our own people, there is nothing wrong with sacrificing a little for them. And that's a good thing.

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If those people can understand us and appreciate us, we feel that everything is okay. But we forget that we are living in a selfish world, and people only care about themselves. Some people care about us genuinely, but most of them actually don't care and do not appreciate what we are doing for them. Many times, we cannot understand why they are not appreciating us, but we feel that someday they will appreciate it, thinking that they will be pleased someday. Unfortunately, such a day never comes, and in my opinion, it's nothing more than an illusion. The people who have the mentality to appreciate will do it genuinely, even if we don't sacrifice anything for them. On the other hand, many people will never be satisfied no matter how much we do for them, and that's the harsh reality.

I used to be such a person who was living in an illusion. I can remember there were many times I helped many people; instead, I suffered for it. I rarely refused others for offering a helping hand. I would not have felt bad for it, but later, when I failed to help them a few times, they didn't hesitate to blame me without any kind of consideration. Some of them even said that because of me, they suffered. I guess they took my help for granted, and whenever I failed to deliver it, they blasted like fire, like I had committed some crime, and they forgot many times I actually helped them. Because of several incidents, I decided not to help others easily. I was determined to give priority to myself rather than draining my energy and time for others who don't appreciate it.

I do what I decide, but the first obstacle was for me to refuse others. It's not easy to refuse others when I used to say yes all the time. Even if it was hard, I had gone through it, and later it became easier for me. I realized that I have limited time and energy, and not everyone is worthy of my efforts. Because of that kind of mindset, I could save a lot of time for myself, and in that time, I could do something that I love to do, like watching dramas, going for a walk outside, or talking with those people with whom my vibes match. Those things may seem simple, but they are good enough to cheer me and make my mood good. I don't need to bother myself with other people's issues, as now I can directly refuse.

Do they mind because of my refusal? Why should I care about it? They are the ones who blamed me. And they are not paying me money for my efforts, and there I am losing nothing except their fake concern. And till now, everyone has almost gotten used to my refusal. They should not approach me or expect anything from me. If they dare to do so, they will be disappointed because now I have learned to give them excuses and how to say "NO."

Now I do help people, but those people are selective, and they belong to those who genuinely appreciate me. For the rest of the people, I don't need their appreciation, and I don't need to exhaust myself mentally and physically. Some people may think I am cruel. In that case, I accept it, and it's good for me, and I am not harming others because I didn't promise anyone to help. It's better to be selfish and think about my own.