Broken trust and disappointment

It says that it's better not to expect something from others because nobody in this world is fully trustworthy. I think close people whom we trust have the power to disappoint us. Sometimes they disappoint us by betraying us, and sometimes they disappoint us by their actions. Whatever, in the end, we feel bad for it.

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When it comes to trust, I think at the present time, I don't trust anyone fully except myself. I trust people based on my calculations and predictions. You can say that I am very calculating also when it comes to trust. You can say it's my calculations rather than identifying it as trust. I indeed have trust issues. What it does not mean is that I never trusted anyone or was disappointed by them. Let me share an incident in my life when I felt disappointed by a person I trusted.

It was the time when I was a student in XI class. And in that time, my experience related to the real world was almost nothing because until XII class, I was like a robot and didn't pay too much attention to anything outside of home. So naturally, I had a lack of experience, and so it was indeed difficult for me to understand the motive of others. Let's jump to the incident directly.

I visited my village to spend my vacation time, and one of my friends called me and said he needed money immediately for a reason. Although I was not connected with him in town, as far as I can remember, he never asked me for any kind of financial help. Moreover, when I was in village school, he was very close to me, and so it was enough reason for me to trust him. And coincidentally, I had the amount of money he asked for at that moment, and I promised to help him.

I shared about it with my mother, and my mother immediately told me to refuse, but I ignored her suggestion. I gave the money to him, and he promised to return the money after 2 weeks. After 2 weeks, I met several times, and he didn't say anything about returning the money. I didn't make the money in time, and so I didn't ask for it. After one month, I think it's necessary to give him a reminder, and he said that after two days, he will return it. So whenever I asked him about money, he gave me another date. One day, he said he went outside to return the money, and I was waiting for him. It was too much, and I felt like a beggar for asking for money again and again, even if it was my own money.

I realized that he was not going to return the money, and so I didn't ask for money from him any time. After the event, I met with other friends many times, but I didn't show them sorrow for his actions. He was so shameless, like he didn't take money from me. I didn't want him to humiliate me, and so I didn't bring the matter in front of others. I was very disappointed by his actions, and it indeed made an impact on our friendship. Although on the surface he is still my friend, as we have other common friends, in my heart, he is a fraud, and I have no reason to forgive him. He really gave me a great lesson, and I won't forget the lesson.