Jay stood near a teen he had been asked to watch over while Mr Sunshine finished their mission. The kid was on his knees losing his lunch.
"I was terrified." / You fought and killed them anyway.
"Am I a coward?" / No, a coward runs. A brave person acts even when terrified. You saved lives.
"I don't want to do that again." / We're going to try to ensure you won't have to. -- Anon Guest
The bad part of the scene was that Jay had to document everything that he discovered. And the first thing he discovered was a recent victim who had fought back out of survival reflex and was now suffering the after-effects.
Adrenaline was great for survival instincts. Lousy for keeping your meal remnants on the inside of the body.
This poor kid was just a teenager. Barely weeks past their thirteenth birthday. Currently dry-heaving into the commode where they had been sitting and ridding things via the other exit. At least this waif had had the sense to flush before kneeling.
Jay remembered making that mistake once. When scooping up waifs like this one, he made sure to flush for them before they could get down. Some of them even thanked him later.
"Breathe deep," coached Jay. "You'll feel better with some clean air." Well. Cleaner than hanging over a toilet bowl and huffing their own puke fumes. This world was still a deregger world and had dodgy air. The vague positive point was that the building was in the high-class region and therefore had cleaner air than the industrial district. Theoretically.
The Alliance had drastically altered Jay's standards in that regard.
The last set of dangerous burping passed, and Jay handed the kid a washcloth. Guaranteed cool and refreshing. The kid was covered in blood spatter, but pointing that out would only result in another emotional crash.
Shaky breathing and straightening up was an improvement. Tears and snot were still there. They would take a longer time to ebb. "I stuck the knife in her. And I couldn't stop doing it. I kept stabbing and stabbing and stabbing and..." More sobbing. "I dunno why I did it. I dunno why I couldn't stop... She was so good to me..."
"She hurt you," said Jay. "She didn't cut you or hit you, but she hurt you. She made you think you liked what she did to you, but... you knew it was a lie. You wanted it to stop, and she didn't listen when you asked. I be she didn't listen when you told her."
"I stuck the knife in her, and I couldn't stop..." the kid repeated their stumbling point. The exact moment they snapped, and their whole world changed. "I couldn't stop. Not even when she stopped moving."
"You snapped. It's perfectly natural," said Jay. "The question is... would you do that to anyone like her?"
Reluctant. Warbling. "Do I have to?"
"No. You don't," said Jay. "That's actually a good sign. With some help and time, you'll be better." He didn't need to tell the kid about joining Pax Humanis. That was something they could find about at a later date. After the therapists had done their good work to usher the kid through their traumas. "I'm Jay. What's your name?"
"Pretty," said Pretty. "It's what she always called me. I... don't remember any other name."
"If you don't want to be called Pretty, it's okay to pick a new name. There's lots to look through. Someone's going to come and help you, and if you want it, they can help you find a name you like."
"I just grabbed the knife and stuck it in her. And I didn't stop. Why didn't I stop?"
Jay had no other answer but, "All your hurt and angry came out at once. And that's okay. You don't have to do it again. And it doesn't make you a bad person. You did what you needed to do to stop the hurting. Now my friend is making sure nobody else is going to get hurt."
"I kept stabbing her," said Pretty. "I kept stabbing her."
Jay started wishing the Therapists would get there sooner. "I know. You did. And I know it's scary that you could do that. But I promise it's going to be all right." He had another washcloth. "Can I help clean you up a bit? That stuff all over you has to feel sticky. Do you want it off? I won't touch anywhere you say not to."
"I couldn't stop..."
[Photo by Anas Alhajj on Unsplash]
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