He changed everything, for her. He went to B'Nar to have his appearance changed, for her. He got a different job to make her happy. He moved away from his home, for her. Then she said he wasn't enough, and left for another. He is going through intense therapy, because of her.
And she thinks she can just waltz back and get him to come back to her?
Her ways need to change, for HIM! -- Anon Guest
Of all the words of wisdom that Humanity had ever chained together, some of the best were: You should never pay your heart for your heart's desire[1].
Similarly, a soul is worth too much to exchange for anything at all. No matter how desperate someone may be to possess it. Such as the case of Human Lo, who battled with an obsession with another Human who was not interested in him.
Like most from Deregger colonies, he honestly believed that he had to be perfect to win the attention of his preferred partner, Human Sens. She happened to be the embodiment of everything Lo wanted in a partner, but also happily cohabiting with and loyal to her partner.
Lo, like many Deregger expatriots, went to extreme measures to gain what he could not believe was impossible. He was perfectly willing to work to gain everything he felt he lacked. He took up the offer of B'Nar to create himself a new body. One that fit every possible ideal of physicality.
He worked on his wealth and education, choosing to stay in minimum necessary habitation to save and invest and create a better standing for himself.
Lo also worked on his mental health. Working on himself with a therapist. Sens had been out of his reach for years, by this point, and that was just one of the facts he had to come to terms with.
"It is best," Therapist Iel repeated as they twirled their stim toy, "to improve yourself for yourself. You should be happy with you, for your own benefit. Live as someone you're not for someone else, and you're doomed to a life of pain and anguish. It's not worth it, just to have someone near." They set their spinner going again. "The question remains... Are you happy?"
Lo spent a long time staring into his knowledge of himself. "I think I'm still a work in progress. I'm at least getting a handle on the idea that I can't be someone else just by working on it. I have to just deal with being a better me."
One step at a time.
[1] This author found them care of Louis McMaster Bujold.
[Photo by davide ragusa on Unsplash]
If you like my stories, please Check out my blog and Follow me. Or share them with your friends!
Send me a prompt [96 remaining prompts!]
