Hi, guys!
So, today it's fourth day of my rehabilitation. Yet I don't feel much better, but I feel more calm because I know that now the problem is taken care of, and I'm not alone. Thanks to my husband - he understands that something is wrong and doesn't push on me. So, I'm free to do whatever I want, and I slowly move to recovery.
Something interesting happened during last two days. All of a sudden I finally absolutely gave up smoking. I'll explain why I say absolutely. The thing is - I was smoking regular сigareеts for about 10 years, till the day when I decided to switch to vape. And I went on smoking vape for year and a half, slowly lowering nicotine level of the liquid. I started with six, than went to 3, that 1 and finally zero liquid which I was vaping for the last three months. During this time my body renewed production of my own nicotine, and now I no longer need my vape - everything is back to normal. Do I miss this smoking habit? Damn, yes. Do I want it back? No chance.
At the moment I already have enough forces to take care of my blog, and I hope that soon it will be not only a survivor diary again. But now we have what we have, and I will continue writing about my fight with depression.
By the way tomorrow I plan to leave my house for the first time this week. Dungeon and Dragons game with my friends, possibly it will make me feel a bit better and allow me to forget about dark thoughts for a while. At least it always works like this, and I hope it will this time. I also invited my mom to the game tomorrow, at the moment she also experiences a depressive episode (yes, my disorder is hereditary). A little bit of magic fun together - also a way of healing.
See you in the next post!
Love, Inber