Hi, guys!
As I wrote yesterday, I returned home, now every time I wake up here it will take me some time to understand where I am. I am too used to waking up in the hospital and constantly being nervous about this, any loud sound I perceive as the fact that new patients have appeared in the oversight ward. In general, so far my psyche is confused and perceives reality not as it really is. In addition, I drink medications that lower the heart rate, so my body and my head cannot agree with each other at all.
Now everyone is summing up the results of the year, I thought that for my year a good result is the fact that I meet you at home, and not in a psychiatric hospital. Although we still did not finish a lot, and immediately after the New Year, I will have to finish a lot. I need five more doctors in addition to a psychiatrist in order to fully monitor my health and fix what's broken in it. I hope that I can quickly get in touch with them all and get help quickly. Because some of them are also associated with those conditions that I turned to a psychiatrist, for example, those that an endocrinologist can give.
But still, it was not the worst year, in which I began to go to aerial gymnastics. And despite the fact that I was seriously injured there, I really liked this lesson. By the way, yes, this is another surgeon whom I still need to turn to in order to improve my quality of life, because the shoulder after the injury is still very sore and it is not clear whether an operation is needed or not. This needs to be clarified, after which I will immediately return to sports. During the time I spent in the hospital, I became a little overweight and naturally this cannot but bother me.
This year I could not finish the drawing course, but I talked to the organizers and asked them to just leave me access to the lectures without feedback. The teacher's feedback is not very interesting to me, but I would like to watch the lectures, and still get all the knowledge for which I paid. Therefore, after the New Year, I'm going to finish watching the lectures and maybe do a few tasks just to understand how it works, in the end it will be very useful in my future work. The work was also not going smoothly, most of the time I did not have enough strength to do it, so my rating in this regard dropped somewhat. Yes, and the skill has dropped a little, you know, they say that when they do not paint for several days, even to himself is noticeable. So it is with me.
So far, my main goal at the beginning of the year I have set not to despair, because if I fold my hands, then everything will collapse, I know very well about it. Therefore, at least in small steps, you need to move forward. You need to try to pull yourself together and still go no matter what. This is what I am planning to do. I wish everyone a wonderful New Year :)
See you in the next post!
Love, Inber
