(Image is AI generated using Prompt Hunt)
**
I smirked.
Seeing my reflection in the mirror made me feel bad, as tears freely flowed down my cheeks. I hated seeing my alter ego becoming successful in her career while I suffered from constant failure. Failure to choose what my heart desired-- to be a full-time writer or a psychologist. Failure because I have to live the life most people want me to live-- the life of an educator.
That was right! I created an alter ego to make my fragile self somehow survive in this cruel, unfair world. I made "Julie" the "driver of my fate" because, between us, she was the tough one. She managed to surpass life's tests, including the four-year struggle of being a student taking BS Education. She managed to graduate with flying colors and passed the Licensure Examination for Teachers in one take. She landed a stable job that has provided her with the necessities for our everyday existence. She gained friends, while I only had her.
"Why are you crying, Ann?" she asked. "Are you not happy with what I have achieved for us?"
I didn't respond. At the back of my mind, I was weighing the situation. 'Should I let her take over? Will I not be given the chance to live the life that I've wanted?'
"Can I at least take the chance to do what I like?" I asked.
"Do what? If you do whatever that is, do you think you could endure the harshness of the world?"
I was stunned. She spoke as if I didn't have the right to be myself.
"Look. You're feeble and crying on the slightest hint of sadness. You cower when you're bullied and can't even stand for yourself," she continued.
"Just this once. Please let me try to write a story to submit to a publisher," I insisted.
She pouted. Her expression showed how much she disapproved of my persistence. But still, she allowed me to take charge. To cut the story short, I wrote several poems and sent them to a certain publisher. After several weeks of waiting I hadn't heard from them, so I assumed my submission was rejected.
"I told yah! You just wouldn't listen," Julie scolded me as if I've done a terrible mistake, which I thought I did.
"I don't care! Can I try it again?"
And so I wrote a short story and submitted it to the same publisher. After a week, I couldn't believe the e-mail I received.
My story had made it to the second volume of a horror anthology. And that book was published in November 2021. From then, Julie would allow me to take over when I needed to write, and so I had been part of another two anthologies.
(This photo is mine.)
Most of you might find it weird, but yes, I talk to my reflection in the mirror as if we're two different people. I do that to encourage myself that I can be someone who other people want me to be, and someone who can be who I really want to be, at the same time. I'm not that good at writing, but I need to NEVER STOP BELIEVING. Never fail to believe in yourself.
