In the western world, young girls who reach the age maturity are often asked by their Dads about who their boyfriends are. And more often, they would ask their daughters to invite their boyfriends for dinner so they might get to know them. Oftentimes the parents want to get to know the demeanor of that particular young man and have a theoretical probability of how he might be able to take care of their daughter. In the society I live in, the case is somewhat different.
A typical African society, nuclear or extended family, fathers frown and mostly don't tolerate boys following their daughters to their houses except if he has made intentions to marry their daughter. The thought of inviting one's boyfriend to the house is gigantic to say the least. You either have to be stubborn or crazily in love with the boy to bring him to your house in the presence of your parents. The practice is just ancient to them. The fathers usually fear their daughters to be devoured before they get married to their eventual husbands.
There are a lot of factors that have made this practice somewhat inexistent in typical African societies. These are mostly norms. Inviting male counterparts that have affectionate feelings to his daughter is a taboo. Traditionally, males used to live separately from women when they got to a particular age. When secondary sexual characters such as breasts start forming, mothers would warn their daughters strongly to not let a man touch them.
Secondly, the upbringing also plays a part. In a traditional African society, the kind of upbringing mothers do for their daughters is to try to safeguard them from all forms of temptations. These include constantly reminding them of their worth as a lady, and as well telling them not to be alone with men.
However, in a changing African society, a lot of these norms are fading away. This could be due to education, awareness of sexual and reproductive health, adoption of western norms etc. Many African fathers have little problem with their daughters bringing a man to the house especially if it's in his presence. They trust them more. As in they know who their daughters are with. This creates security and responsibility. The boyfriend won't mess up. This has reduced teenage pregnancies to an extent. Thought-provoking is that many strict parents' daughters get pregnant despite the stringent measures employed by their parents to keep them safe.
So, my dearest reader, this is the very few insights I have to share with you with regards to the bitter rivalry between dads and boyfriends. Although society is changing but that weird look still remains.
Hope you enjoyed it 馃槉
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Good morning 馃寗
