Did you ever notice how someone is always trying to make a profit off of you?
" A penny for your thoughts."
So... wait a second. You want my two cents, so you're offering me a penny? Well, that isn't a total scam.
But hey, at least my thoughts are worth something, even if it's only two cents a penny.
Hey, if you could actually make two cents off people's thoughts, it almost sounds like a good business opportunity: Here, I'll give you a penny, all you have to do is tell me what you think.
Until... you realize that it takes time to listen to people's thoughts. You can listen to two in a minute, max three. So you'd be making a maximum of 2 dollars a minute. Not a very profitable business, is it?
So maybe I should make an app. I'll pay people a penny to enter in their thoughts (and give me the rights to them), and I'll then utilize them to make a profit. That would actually work, if only I could sell opinions for two cents.
But hey, did you notice how none of you got upset at me for making fun of the way you speak? If I mocked France in front of a bunch of Frenchmen, they'd get annoyed. If I mocked Poland in front of a bunch of Polacks, I'd walk away in a lot of pain. If I mocked America in front of Americans, I'd be greeted with a round of applause.
Huh. That one doesn't seem to fit. Nonetheless, I don't doubt its veracity. In any case, people seem to get more upset by things which are about more specific groups.
"How dare you insult..." "How could you say such a thing?!" "We are not..." "Make America Great Again!"
I need to stop saying that. Ok, new idea. Every time I say the word "well," I'll toss on a picture of a well.
pixabay
No, I'm not starting yet! You idiots, why would you think that could turn out well?
pixabay
Oops. Ok, seriously stopping now. Hopefully. Probably. I don't want my whole post to be pictures of w**ls.
This will now turn serious.
Hey, I figured if I said it, it might actually come true. What do you think ... ok, trying to think of somebody who said something which can humorously be construed as having been a vain hope but actually turned out true. Hmm. I've got nothing.
All men were created equal? Nah, that's too true to be funny. Wow, I actually can't think of anything. This is bad. THIS IS VERY BAD!
Moving on. Life is but a journey, ever moving, ever changing. That's why there are always annoying people getting in your way, they're the conductors, bothering you about foolish constructs like "tickets," and the hobos sitting on the side of the tracks.
Is that only America? That's definitely only America. Why do you think even Americans don't like America? Why am I talking like this? It's not obvious enough that I'm joking. This is a joke!
Well, that flopped. Shoot.
pixabay
Ok, let's talk about how horrible France is now. Shoot, I don't have any French people reading this.
Ok, how 'bout Scotland? Nah, not much to mock, it's the holy land.
South Africa? I'm gonna get in trouble for racism.
You see why I mock America. Wow, I'm not very funny today. Ok, I'll try to be back when I start being funny again.
-hyperbole out.
p.s - Why is everything being centered? I closed the centering thingamajiggy. Meh, I'll figure it out later.
