Ok, so my freewrites are now officially dedicated to randomness, so I like spaghetti. I’m sorry not actually sorry ‘bout that - It’s all Paul’s fault (You fiend!) (
Ok, so since I was talking about hats when I left off last time, I suppose now would be a good time to discuss nail polish. Not really sure where that came from, don’t actually know anything about nail polish, moving on.
Ok, this topic thing isn’t working. Or maybe it is, I really don’t know. I already told you I don’t know what I’m typing, I already managed to sign away my free will. I should really slow down. The problem with that idea is that that would be the intelligent thing to do, and I’ve long since dedicated my life to not doing intelligent things. Oh well.
Wait, I think I just figured out where my life went wrong. dramatic pause Nail polish! I don’t know anything about nail polish. I’m sure it’s absolutely essential to the average man’s life. This is why my plots for world domination keep failing - I knew there was something going wrong, and now I know what.
It’s the lack of pickles. Yes, pickles. I decided that I need to compete with Paul (and, I suppose, that I don’t mind stealing his topic) and write about pickles. So now they’re mentioned, and i think I’m done. Onward to the next topic!——>
Well, let’s see. Why is my mind so crazy anyway? You know people use the term brainstorming? Well, imagine my brain as a tempest. A Category 6 hurricane (I think 5’s the limit). So my mind’s eye is the eye of the storm (get it?get it? not funny? sniffs. Fine then. Be that way. But you’re not funny! And you’re stupid! (sorry, I had a major urge to channel my inner 3 year old. Please pause while I channel my outer 3 year old and go outside to play. ______________ Ok done.)) Aaand back to the storm/mind metaphor/simile thingamijiggy (I need to use that word more often in my freewrites) So when I’m freewriting, I’m basically stepping out of the eye of the storm, and taking minutes on whatever sounds I hear.
Loud whistling sound, followed by huge CRASH! Sorry, I guess I got a little to into that storm/mind metaphor/simile thingamijiggy. Yes, I did just copy/paste. Your point being?
Ok, I think I just ran into another one of my speech quirks. Whenever I do/say something slightly questionable, or not actually questionable at all, I’ll follow it up with “Yes, I did actually insert action/statement here. Your point being? Yes I do have weird speech quirks. Your point being? Yes, I did just follow up with that. Your point being?
Okay, before I get took far into that (too late. way too late.), we’re going to move on. And because I haven’t said it enough times yet, for those of you idiots who actually think you’re participating here, when I say we, I mean I, unless stated otherwise. Wow, I feel good - just standing here, handing out disclaimers. Well, sitting here (or there, depending on your perspective?) handing out disclaimer, in the singular. But y’know, who’s that nitpicky?
Well yes, I am. But that is entirely beside the point! Oh yeah, let’s move on to one of my pet peeves: I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone say something is beside the point, which would be the correct usage/phrase. Instead, I get to hear a bunch of idiots, and a number of otherwise intelligent people, say something as foolish as That’s besides the point. No! Stop saying that S! It doesn’t make sense!
and just as I’m getting started (I guess you wouldn’t want to see me full swing) I ran out of time. Oops. Well, I suppose I’ll see you next time (metaphorically, not literally, unless I figure out a way to hack your webcams.)
-Hyperbole out
Random words under text: For those who don't know, this is my way of introducing a footnote. As per usual, this was written freewrite-style, with nothing corrected more than 3 seconds after being typed (sorry, that's just instinctive). Pictures are mostly my own (the hands are from pixabay, I added the caption, the other one's entirely mine). I only added those 2 because it's getting kind of ridiculously late here and I didn't have the energy to search pixabay, so I used old pics. Oh yeah, and I love that storm pic, because if you look closely you'll see the rain falling about half a mile from where I stood. Not actually a storm though.
