Detail of a painting that I’m currently working on.
As someone with PTSD, having frightening dreams, nightmares, and night terrors are "normal" for us as it is one of the symptoms that we have to deal with when having this kind of mental disorder. I have been living my whole life with them and eventually, I was able to control them especially the sleep paralysis thing.
The past few months though, I have been having really vivid dreams (both good and bad) every night and I do remember them every time I wake up. This is quite weird to me since I know an average person can only remember a few dreams a week, and I have never experienced having vivid dreams every night before.
Yesterday I woke up at 6 am and figured my sleep wasn't enough so I slept again. My mind "woke up" and I was paralyzed (aka having sleep paralysis). I usually have sleep paralysis and I'm not scared of it anymore but usually, I can clearly see my room (with my physical eyes closed) the way it is in reality.
This time, I was seeing a dark room. It feels the same room as mine but it looked different. If you have seen the film series "Insidious" by James Wan, they visualized the other dimension aka The Further as something dark with bluish lights and stuff. That's what I was seeing.
Anyway, having sleep paralysis, I expected my body to vibrate. It did, but I was having some weird ticklish feeling as well. The back of my head felt cold, as well as my entire back. I felt something was behind me. Something dark and unpleasant. Like it was trying to get inside me.
As someone who believes in the existence of other dimensions, I knew what was happening. I was being attacked again but it wasn't as aggressive as that girl who attacked me months ago lol.
So this black thing was behind me and was extracting my energy. I felt my breathing got shallow so I focused on that and tried to breathe properly. I thought of happy stuff and I imagined I have a light inside me and spread it across my body to shield it.
It went for minutes and I eventually woke up. I was like WHAT WAS THAT lol. I was annoyed of course because I was exhausted.
If you believe in other dimensions, spirits, entities, astral bodies, and stuff like that, you could probably think of my experience as me getting visited by some shit.
If not, then the psychological explanation to that is I'm stressed. lol. Basically, thinking of happy thoughts while having sleep paralysis is a good solution to it too if you are having a hard time waking up. By doing so, you will prevent some crazy hallucinations like some demons in your room and some crazy incubus sitting on your chest.
So yeah, whatever that was, real or not, all I know is that the emotions felt during that time was real. It's crazy having all these dreams as I could feel them as if they were true but all I could do is accept them. I don't close my mind with the ideas of having several dimensions as well, as I know that there are lots of things that we don't know yet. If they are true, I do hope I could use that ability to get ideas like how Nikola Tesla and some other geniuses did. :p
