It is no secret to anyone following my blog that dogs have been a very fixed and big part of my life for years. And every dog owner will recognize this, in all that time these dogs have changed my life in a way that I had not expected or could not have predicted. When I bought my first dog I was still very ignorant, and over the years I have learned a lot. However, where I had expected that I would mainly have to learn a lot about the practical side of caring for a dog, it turns out that having a dog taught me a lot more about myself. Both physically and emotionally I feel more stable and stronger since I am surrounded by the company of a dog every day. To my great surprise and joy, my dogs became my support and confidante.
Since the arrival of dogs in my life, I have become much more emotionally stable. The sensitivity to depression has decreased. The feeling that there is always someone, a loyal friend who never leaves my side, who never judges me, who loves me for who I am, but who is also dependent on me, has helped me never to feel truly alone. And then there is the physical side. We all know how difficult it can be to get moving when you have no reason to move. Yes, of course ... we all know. Movement is necessary for our health. But be honest, how many people have a sedentary job, and then come home and fall on the couch, in front of the TV until they are tired? Then it is sleep and the next day is the same. Since I have dogs, they keep me moving. Walking several times a day brings structure to my life. And yes, of course, I sometimes sigh when it is pouring rain and I have to go out with the dog. But when you finally go, it feels good when you have done it and come home. And certainly, when we still had four dogs, it was sometimes really not fun to give them all enough exercise separately. But the joy I got back, and the many times they made me laugh during walks and at home quickly made up for the moments when I didn't feel like it.
Now that we only have Skipper left, I have to admit that I sometimes miss the coziness of four dogs, but the other side is that I now experience more peace and time for myself.
I can say with certainty that dogs have changed me fundamentally. And that change is mainly in taking responsibility. And by having dogs, I have gained a good deal of patience. Have you ever tried to train a dog that doesn't see the point of it? I can tell you that you won't achieve any results with impatience when you start training a dog. What you need to bring with you, besides a portion of love and patience, is empathy and understanding. A dog has feelings, and it is up to you to make sure that your dog WANTS to cooperate with you, and that he WANTS to do what you ask of him at that moment. You can only achieve that by respecting the dog and understanding how the dog thinks.
In addition, by realizing that they are dependent on me and that their well-being depends on my care, I not only gained responsibility and patience. I also gained insights that I did not have before. And my sense of duty has certainly increased by leaps and bounds.
I also dared to open myself up to give unconditional love. Dogs have no hidden agendas, they give their love unconditionally. It is up to us to give the same back.
I have learned to be there for them every day, whether I feel good or bad. Rowan was my best teacher in this. As soon as I threatened to have an emotional outburst, he was already there with his snout on my arm or leg. But Skipper is also very good at this. When dogs sit with their backs against you, very close to your leg, that is their way of letting you know that they love you. A dog does not naturally cuddle like we humans do. And when I am not feeling well, Skipper always comes to sit extra close to me, his back pressed against my leg. This silent but powerful message that he gives me is his way of saying: "I am here for you." Because I know how dogs show their love, that small gesture gives me a feeling of comfort, comfort, and strength. At those moments, Skipper reminds me that I am never really alone, not even when I am having a hard time. I think it is extra special that I have come this far with Skipper because when we first got him, he was certainly a dog with attachment issues himself. The fact that he had to move to new owners 3 times already made that he didn't want to trust us so quickly. Fortunately, we have grown closer over time.
I have always known somewhere that routine, rhythm, and regularity are very important to me. However, I did not understand what this had to do with, since I found out that I have autism that penny has dropped. But I also know that I would have a very hard time keeping this up without my dog. Throughout my life, I have experienced that without a fixed rhythm my emotions quickly become unbalanced, and I tend to sink into a depression. Dogs help me to build the structure I need in my days. Skipper makes sure that I get up on time in the morning and go to bed at a reasonable time in the evening. After all, I know that he has his needs, and because I love him and am responsible for his well-being, I cannot ignore them.
Because I am forced to maintain a certain rhythm in this way, it certainly provides more stability in my daily life. Without a dog, I know for sure that I would have trouble getting out of bed and going to sleep on time. And it is precisely that irregularity and the staggered rhythm that would be disastrous for me. Because I have to get up with Skipper on time and also have to be there for him during the day, I can maintain regularity. And it is precisely that regularity that helps me to remain emotionally stable. I can tell you that I am incredibly grateful to my dog for helping me achieve this. Even without him knowing it.
One of the ways I find peace is by walking with Skipper. Although we always go to quiet places because Skipper himself is quite reactive, I always find the time to organize my thoughts during the walks. And even more importantly, I can completely let go of everything. Be consciously present in the moment. Skipper walks next to me, completely in the now. And this part is a lesson I learned from Skipper. Every dog always lives in the moment, without worries about the future or the past. But with all the dogs before Skipper, it wasn't so important to me to do the same. Micky, Rowan, Myla, Lana, and Lex, all continued to do their own thing ... even when my thoughts were miles away during the walk. For Skipper it is different. If I am not completely there, completely in the here and now, then he becomes restless. Because walking should mainly be fun for him, and not a stressful moment, I have had to learn to live completely in the here and now during these walks with Skipper. Not taking any worries with me during the walk. Just Skipper and me.
And I have noticed that this is always the best approach for him. Whether it is a walk or simply one of the many daily moments of cuddling. Leaving the many distractions of society behind and just being with him. This approach calms Skipper down, making him less reactive and more responsive. Since I started doing this, I have been surprised at how calming the walks and cuddles can be.
One of the best insights I have come to have is when I changed my thinking from "My dog needs to learn everything", to "What can I learn from my dog". People often think along the lines of "I am the boss". I don't think like that. Not anymore! My dogs are not just loyal companions. No, dogs can teach us valuable lessons about how to live our lives. Now you may be wondering what we can learn from dogs.
1. Live in the moment
One of the most striking qualities of dogs is their ability to live completely in the here and now. A dog, as far as we know, doesn't worry about the future. He doesn't worry about tomorrow. They don't worry about yesterday. Dogs enjoy every moment they spend with us. Whether it is a simple walk or playing with a ball, dogs are always present in the moment. And they are also happy with every moment they get. This mindfulness is certainly something for us humans to be more aware of. And something that is often difficult for us because of our hectic lives full of distractions.
We should let go of the stress of our agenda much more often and enjoy the small moments much more, just like dogs. Live much more in the NOW without the distractions of the internet and phone. By being more aware of where we are now and what we are doing, we can find more peace and satisfaction.
2. Unconditional love and loyalty
Dogs love us unconditionally, without judgment. I have never known a dog that did not give their heart completely. Every dog gives their heart completely. They do not look t to our faults, they don't care about our imperfections. The loyalty of dogs is unbreakable; they always remain faithful to us. Even in difficult times.
People should ask themselves if we are capable of doing the same in our relationships. Are we capable of loving and supporting people unconditionally, even when it is not always easy? By observing dogs closely, we learn that true love knows no conditions.
3. Patience and forgiveness
Of course, I have plenty of examples of impatient dogs. The times Lana knocked over my coffee because she impatiently threw her ball on the table so that I could throw her ball for her are etched in my memory. Skipper has a paw to hit my arm with his paw when I have a treat that he also wants. And of course, I know nothing else than that every dog is impatiently waiting to go out together again. Barking impatiently to play together. Sure, dogs can be very impatient. But the flip side is that dogs are incredibly patient. Just think of all the times you, as a dog owner, go away without your dog. They wait for hours for you to come home without getting angry or frustrated unless you have a dog with separation anxiety, but that is not the norm. I hope I never do it, but it inevitably happens, the times we disappoint dogs. Your dog wants something so badly but it is inconvenient for you, or it is not allowed for his safety, for example. You disappoint your dog, and you can see it in his eyes. Yet dogs forgive us almost immediately. The ability of dogs to forgive quickly and be patient with us, no matter the situation, can be a powerful lesson for us in how to treat others.
Patience and forgiveness are qualities that are often difficult for us to practice, especially in the fast-paced world we live in. But by being more patient with ourselves and with others, and by forgiving more quickly, we can find much more peace. And not entirely unimportant in these times when we seem to be becoming less and less social, we can strengthen relationships through this.
4. Value of simple joy
A very important lesson that I have learned from my dogs is that happiness is everywhere, and that it is not as elusive as we often think. For a dog, happiness is something simple. A walk in the park, a tasty snack, a nice toy, a cuddle on the couch. All simple things that are within reach for everyone. And for a dog, that is all they need to feel happy. Those small, daily things like cuddling, walking food, and drinking on time ensure a happy dog.
Then look at us humans, what we think we need. How quickly we are dissatisfied. We are surrounded by many material things and often forget the essence of our existence. We are organizing our entire lives with a search for perfection, we want success! And we are never satisfied, we always want more. But what we forget is to enjoy those small daily things. We forget to appreciate that we have a full stomach every day, that we have a comfortable couch to sit on, and that there is family, a partner, who loves us. We forget to enjoy what we have, what is there, the moment. By watching dogs we can learn to find that pleasure again in the small moments.
5. Ensure a balance between rest and activity
Dogs are the best teachers if you have trouble relaxing. They have moments of intense activity, where they run, play, and walk. But dogs are also masters in knowing when it is time for them to rest and relax. And they do this all too gladly because they know that this is just as important for their well-being. A dog that is 'on' 24 hours a day is a dog that is not feeling well. An emotionally stable dog will rest and relax a lot, and that is a thing we humans can certainly learn from dogs. Especially in the current time when stress-related complaints such as burn-outs are the order of the day.
In our current world where the 24-hour society has been introduced for the sake of the economy, we are expected to always be ‘on’. We are expected to be constantly busy with work or other obligations. We are almost forced to be available 24 hours a day. When we are not working, we are expected to seek out social activities, we have to exercise to relieve our workload, and then we also have to keep up with the care for our parents or other family members, in short, we have much less free time than we need! Dogs show us that it is okay to take that rest, to curl up on the couch n and relax. Rest is not a luxury, but an absolute necessity to keep us mentally and physically healthy.
7. Stay curious and playful
Dogs are super curious animals. Every smell, sound, or new environment is a source of fascination for them. They continue to play and discover throughout their lives. And it is this playful and curious attitude that keeps them energetic and mentally healthy.
We humans are not like that, and because we often lose this playful and curious ability, life often feels hard. By trying not to lose our curiosity and playfulness, just like a dog, we can also improve our mental health. I have found that by continuing to look at the world with a more open and curious eye, just like my dog, I discovered more new things and found more moments of joy in my daily life. Even if that takes place in the same environment every day without much variety.
If you have one or more dogs in your life, every day is a new opportunity to learn from them. Change your mindset to what you can learn from your dog, instead of just thinking that you have to teach your dog everything. Dogs can teach us so much. Of course, there are certain things that our dogs need to learn from us. Things that are important for the safety of the dog, and for the safety of the environment. But conversely, it is also certainly true that if we are open to their lessons, our lives can become much better. Dogs can teach us things that people seem to have forgotten, but that dogs have by nature.
For me, it is soon time to go for a walk with Skipper again. And instead of wondering what I can teach him today ... let's see together what the walk today brings us, and what he can teach me today. What can we discover together?
