Fish tank

I open my eyes to the blurry blue light in your room. I hear the door creak and your dark figure looms in the doorway. I vividly imagine stuffing myself in your fish tank and tapping on the glass to get your attention. “Ha…ha…ha…….that’s fffffu-cked.” I’m too exhausted to use my voice. I look at you sideways and a string of drool comes out the side of my mouth. It lands and pools on the itchy couch fabric my cheek is pressed against. What was I even worried about before? What was I thinking….again? Why even think at all. People should just not…..think. Something is playing on the radio. It’s so familiar. I snap awake and tell you to turn it up! I can’t place it. I got up too fast my head spins and my stomach churns. I run down the hall to your bathroom and hunch over the toilet puking and gasping. I slump to my knees. I wipe my mouth off with toilet paper and lean my head against the door. “Suddenly….I’m not half the man I used to be….there’s a shadow hanging overr me…oh yesterday came suddenly” floats through the door accompanied by violin. My heart sinks down. If I look up it looks like I’m looking into a black hole. I look around the bathroom. linoleum tile, acrylic tub, palm tree shower curtain, and down at my stomach. I pinch the fat. Am I still pretty after that little display? Probably not. Whatever it’s chill because I fabricated our connection and you bought it. Look where it got me. Beautiful