It might be a coincidence or not, maybe some events in my life are, somehow, linked to weeken-engagement topics before o after they are brought to us on Fridays.
The brief story is that some hours ago I was involved in sort of a discussion that warmed up and ended with a long stick swong from a distance and hitting my left side of the head. Over my left ear to spot it exactly.
It was a strong intentioned blow that caused some damage in the ear and some later head ache but, besides not being such a big deal, it certainly didn't cause the spected or desired damage.
The first thing that the blow could not achieve was to move myself from my standing position, knock me out or throw me on the ground. It didn't held me back either, but for some solid reasons I wasn't able to respond as required or at least as I'd wanted to.
So, matters like this one, that I use to call a debt to collect or an unfinished busyness, usually sticks to my thoughts and stay there fucking around until it's finished. It doesn't let me sleep well or sleep at all, it just hammers and hammers and hammers again repeatidly in my head.
Now, I, that consider myself an intelligent man, find myself in a crossroads.
I won't give any details of how it (the event) got that far, that's personal stuff and also a long story. The guy, as I said, used a long stick to get to me above the heads 2 persons that were in the middle trying to fresh down the situation(still don't know how he could do that without hitting them and how the heck did he get to me being around 4.5 meters away, but, he did), and apparently, when he saw me still standing and approaching, he decided to hand a big knife or a small machete ( I really don't know how to call it now) to attack me( I guessed), he didn't though and I still was there, in front of him. Not that I wanted him to, cause I could be dead right now if he had, maybe not.
He took something like this. This is mine from home.
But I wonder, why did he really took it if he wasn't gonna use it? To frighten me? To make me run? It didn't work that way am afraid. Anyway, dead men don't write posts and certainly don't look after their families either. So, glad he didn't.
The thing is that "the event" keeps rounding my head. I'm upset for it and know I will longer be. My inner cave-flammable-twisted-man wants blood and I don't blame him. It's not about killing anybody, it might happen though, fights bring blows and some blows can kill, besides, as he is a fucken knife and stick pussy that refuses to use fists like it used to be done back in old good times to solve 2 men issues in a fair fist fight, well I have my old Nunchaku, those are dangerous blows(they hit pretty hard) and can be lethal.
It was a gift from my former father in law, who also was a very good friend and as a father to me.He is not around anymore.
So, in my head images keep popping un of me fighting him, we both alone without anyone intervening, making he pay his disrespectful behaviour and aggression.
So, if I fight him, there'll be weapons for sure, he doesn fist fight for what I saw, there'll be blood, there'll be bad consequences, there could be death, there could be serious damages, there could be prison. No matter who "wins", he will also lose. I don't care a fuck about him, but do care about my self and my family. Dead or in jail I won't be of any help to them and they will suffer, besides, this kind of litigation with this kind of people usually never get an ending until one is down, even then it might continue if avenger families get involved.
If I don't fight him, probably the event won't stop haunting me and my mind will keep fucking me off with the circled, disturbing and violent thoughts of breaking the man's shity face. I'm a peaceful man, I need peace, and that thing is taking peace away from me.
Still haven't made up my mind though.
But, certainly if I could kill someone and get away with it, this bastard would be the chosen one.
Why? Guess I already said that.
One more thing.
If I were dead I don't think I'd have many regrets, dead man also can't have regrets. Sam and Dean Winchester might disagree with me though. (The brothers from Supernatural, the TV serie from some years ago, remember?, haven't seen it? I liked it, you might as well.)
Now that I'm still alive, I can say that I wouldn't like to die before traveling the fuck out of here with no return ticket and with my family for a better life chance.
There's a few places I would like to visit and a few singers I would love to see singing alive. That will hardly be possible though. So, keep sticked to getting outta here.
Life is to live rather than to waste in an eternal survival alive show you didn't even signed in for, in which eventually you won't even manage to survive.
By the way...
Here is my #saturdayselectons for today. All three from Bon Jovi's album "Crossroads".
