Hey folks.
Have you come across people whom at first you would have thought of as someone you wouldn't like to stay around? However, after spending some time together, you realize the person ain't bad at all and you kind of then like to stay around them. At first, you sort of make judgments about that person while you don't have much idea about his behavior but then with the passage of time, you get to know them a bit more, and your perceptions about them change. This is what I have experienced before.
Could I learn to separate judging peoples’ acts from judging them as individuals? Yes, but probably not easily.
We have to distinguish between judging actions and judging people. There is nothing wrong with judging actions but at the same time do your best to separate the acts from the people who perpetrate them.
You really have to ask yourself what you really know about the person you are judging. Each of us has baggage and a history. Everybody has different amounts of responsiveness, indifference, hurt, denial, fury, and hypocrisy in their lives. We are all imperfect. Even though you may want to influence the person you're judging to change the behaviors you think are worthy of judgment, you can also actively decide to give them some leeway.
Reflect upon how it feels to be judged yourself. You might have felt not so good about people being judgmental about you. How did that feel?
Notice the negative impacts of judginess on yourself and your relationships. Consider whether it improves your health or happiness. Does passing judgment on others feel good? Should they endure their flaws? To criticize someone to a friend and then become aware that your buddy may be observing that you could be passing judgment on them as well if they do anything you believe is wrong? Now, think of the reverse. What might it be like to let go of judginess and accept others with their imperfections?
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