A friend of mine was in a relationship with a lady a few months back. But what he realised was that her words, actions, emotional pressure, and the way she behaved did not sit well with him, yet he could not point out to what was wrong. She would do something, but after emotionally "guilt-tripping" him, he would be the one to apologise. He was almost losing his mind until he took a walk from the relationship. What you need to understand is that manipulation often comes in a subtle way. A lot of people do not even realise on time that they are being manipulated until they have lost their confidence, peace of mind, and their ability to make independent decisions. Here, we shall look at some some signs that may show if you are being manipulated.
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One of the signs is that you will constantly feel guilty even when you know that you have not done anything wrong, just like the story of my friend I shared earlier. A manipulative person has a way of making you feel guilty about their mistakes, errors, and unhappiness. They know that once they make you feel guilty, it can push you into doing the things that you normally would not have done. Anytime you find yourself constantly apologising for what you did not do wrong, just because you want to keep peace, then you need to take a critical look, because you may be manipulated. When someone starts to blame you for their shortcomings even when you did not do anything wrong, then you have to pay more attention to the subtle signs.
Another way to know that you may be manipulated is that you will feel emotionally drained after having an interaction or discussion with the person. Understand that healthy discussion will always leave room for encouragement, mutual respect, and support. But when you feel exhausted, drained, confused, or anxious, then something might not be too right. You might even be in a situation where you will begin to question your own judgement because the other person will be twisting the situation to suit them. When you notice this, then you may be manipulated.
Manipulators also tend to ignore your boundaries, and they may even make you to shift it for them. They tend to make you to take hasty decisions even before you are ready, and they may come with consequences. They may also downplay you in a very subtle way, and make you feel guilty for saying a "no." Always remember that the person who genuinely cares about you will respect your boundaries even when they do not always agree with them. So you have to pay more attention to the people who do the opposite. If someone constantly uses elements of guilt, fear, or obligations to subtly influence your choices, then they do not genuinely care about you. They may even say something like; "after everything I have done for you..." "if you genuinely cared about me, you would have done this..." etc. All these statements may just be designed to control you.
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More so, anyone that will always make you to doubt yourself, or who will always criticise your decisions, downplay your achievements, or try to convince you that you are overreacting is already playing the manipulative card. When someone keeps criticising and doubting you, it will not be long and it will begin to tell on you negatively. It can even effect your confidence, and make you to be more dependent on their opinions instead of trusting your own judgement.
It is worthy to note that when you recognise manipulation, it will lose power over you. So it is awareness that will make you to pause and think before reacting, ask questions, then evaluate situations critically. The truth is that you do not have to respond to every demand, or accept every accusation. Before you make a decision, always take your time and think about it. Also, you have to set clear goals and boundaries. If something does not sit right with you, then do not give excuses for it; just take a stand and be firm with it. If something constantly feels wrong to you, do not ignore the feeling simply because someone else is making you to feel that everything is alright. Know that your voice matters, you matter, and your choice deserves respect. When you realise this, you will empower yourself to make better decisions, protect your peace, and build relationships that encourage support instead of control.
Thanks for reading
