It never fails. Whenever its time to hire a new boss, management seems to have the uncanny ability to choose the absolute least qualified candidate. Here is their latest brilliant addition to their ranks.

Well to be fair, I told him he couldn't write on his desk. Giphy

No bright light. Don't get him wet. Never feed him after midnight. Giphy And for those of you too young to know what I'm talking about, first of all I am really jealous of you. And... Image

It was nice of granny to come out and support Loyola like this. Giphy But it did get rather annoying when she kept screaming for the players to hit Slytherin with the bludger. img

That's because it's St. Patrick's Day you idiot!

I stayed up all night to create the greatest lesson ever. I presented it perfectly. I waited for my applause and blue ribbon. Then my students were all like Giphy

I guess he just heard that Baby Driver (which included the most original use of sound in any movie I have seen) didn't win any Oscars for sound. And then he remembered that the Oscars are complete bullshit!

Every kid who falls asleep in class. Student: "I swear I was listening." Me: "What was I talking about?" Student: "Imperialism!" Me: "This is Math class."

My High School students every time I say the word "duty". Giphy

Me to my friend after telling him I went to see Red Sparrow. Giphy

When your wife is so busy with work that she won’t even take off her headset before fooling around with you.

So a 31.5 pound python ate a 35 pound deer. That's impressive. That snake must have had the biggest mouth in the world. Make that the 3rd biggest. Giphy

So, how long will Harvey Weinstein have to wait before he can get back into the academy? Well from the looks of it, about 14 1/2 years. Seems like the Academy's statue of limitations on honoring people

Even a huge Star Wars geek like me has to admit these presenters were awkward, not funny and groan-inducing. You know kind of like the general #funny tag on steemit. For actual laughs, check out #comedyopenmic

This guy just saw the end of the movie Mother. Giphy

The Rock has a surprisingly wide acting range. Even so, his being cast as this guy from Animal House Probably won't work. Seriously, who is going to take anything away from him?

I swear if he doesn't pick me, I'll go completely insane. Too late. At least she will have the voices in her head to keep her company. Gif from Giphy

I get so angry when my wife tells me that I haven't changed one bit since we got married. She still thinks I act like the disgusting bachelor I was when she "rescued" me. But look at this I use

When your girlfriend breaks up with you over the weekend and on Monday you forget her picture is your background. Giphy

When my two kids make breakfast for the family. Ummmmmm there are four of us you know. I guess now I know how all of the dads of pro athletes feel everytime their kid waves at the camera man and says "Hi