The end of the summer is here and it got me reminiscing. Or maybe it was the commercial I just saw of people fishing. Either way, I started thinking about when I was a kid.
This has never, nor will ever be me.
Although I recall fishing a lot when I was a kid, I don't recall ever liking it. It just seemed like one of those things you did as a kid back in the 1970s to kill time. Without smart phones, 250 television channels or high quality video games, you took what you could get when it came to entertainment. Don't get me wrong, I loved my Atari 2600, playing Zork on my Atari computer and movies on Beta but there are too many hours in a summer day to be filled with those. So yeah I fished.
Here's the problem. Actually here are some of the very many problems with fishing. First I'm 99% sure I had ADHD before it was cool. Back then we just called it "not being able to sit still" and "day dreaming". But whatever you call it, those two things do not go hand in hand with sitting in a boat or standing on a pier for six hours watching a bobber... do nothing.
Another huge problem is that I was super grossed out by the bait. I was the type of guy to say "Grandpa, please bait my hook" about 1000 times during a fishing session. I'm sure he thought it was cute the first 500 times... when I was four. But when I was still asking at sixteen, I bet he wasn't too thrilled. Add to the fact I was terrible at fishing and seemed to lose my bait about every 30 seconds and it's a miracle I'm not sleeping with the fishes.
based on my lack of interest and how incredibly annoying I must have been to "fish' with, I have no idea what possessed my grandparents to take me on a fishing trip in northern Wisconsin when I was about ten years old. The trip super sucked and I was bored out of my mind 90% of the time but its 45 years later and I remember parts of that trip like it were yesterday.
First the good. Back in the day, there was a Mountain Dew commercial where a bunch of teens blew up a giant inner-tube. One kid got in and they rolled it down the hill into the water. It looked so incredibly fun! On this fishing trip some 15 year olds decided to try it out. Because they were not complete idiots and this is before Mountain Dew was synonymous with "EXTREME!!!!!" they decided to test it out on the ten year old. Which was just fine with me. I got in and they gave it a push. I'm not sure how they did it in the commercial but in real life, an inner-tube does not roll straight. So instead of me rolling into the lake for a glorious splash down, I slammed right into the side of a fishing shed. I got a few bumps and bruises but the cheers of the teens healed me up right quick.
Now the bad. One day when I was fishing by myself on the pier (don't ask me how I got the bait on my hook) I was day dreaming and watching my bobber... do nothing. I'm sure I was thinking about Star Wars as I slowly walked along the pier. "Why didn't Chewbacca get a medal?" "Why were their no guardrails on the Deathstar?" "What's a womp rat..." I splashed directly into the water. Deep water. Deep gross vegetation filled water. Someone heard and came over and saved my fishing pole. Then they saved me. (In that order). I can still feel the rash I got from that gross water.
And now the ugly. Some old dude there was catching and cleaning fish all day long. He was a machine. A smelly old machine. For some reason he asked if I believed a fish could swim without a head. (No he was not threatening me.) Hopefully I replied that I had never really thought about it... because why would I? He then proceeded to cut the head off a catfish , throw it in the water and it swam away.
I don't like fishing.
