I am writing this today to let you know that you are never alone, even when you feel you are. Sometimes, we need someone to talk to, but what do you do if you have nobody you can call or nobody is available? I found myself in that situation earlier today, and I wanted to share my experience in hopes that it might help someone else.
I have been stable for years until an overzealous pharmacist decided she thought I was taking too much of a particular medication and called the pharmacy review board. Nothing illegal or immoral was going on, and I had been taking my medication as prescribed for many years.
Her phone call led to my doctor changing the dosage (lower), and my several years of being stable changed. I know that part of my current state is probably due to these medication changes brought on by something outside of my control.
Earlier today, I attended an online webinar and witnessed my first-ever Zoom bombing incident. I am still deeply shaken, and this was several hours ago. The graphic nature of the images shown, along with the flashing screen and audio, is still deeply seared in my memory. Try as I might, I cannot shake it, unsee it, or not allow it to bother me.
I am really shaken up today; it has been a really challenging day, and I have never felt this alone for several years. For the first time in several years, I felt more alone than ever and without anyone to call and talk to.
I know there are probably people I could have reached out to or people who are there. I know we are good at telling ourselves there is nobody, and often when we need help the most, it is harder to reach out or call someone. I am always there for others; I've always been that way and have always wanted to help people. Sometimes, we need to help ourselves, but we struggle to do so.
I have no family here in the U.S., apart from two grown children who are not in my life right now. I sincerely pray that will not always be the case. In my home country, I have siblings and a daughter, but I am not really comfortable reaching out to them, or if I did, I would downplay what was going on. It is possibly more a reflection on me than them, though. Or maybe not; the point is that today, I found myself in a bad situation and did not know what to do.
I called a helpline today; it was a 24-hour crisis helpline. I did not know what else to do. The mental health agency I am connected with has its own number. I have not had to use it before, but my doctor has always told me that if I ever needed just to talk, I could call there. I told them I was not going to harm myself but thought I needed to talk to someone—anyone.
I have a lot of mixed emotions now after calling them. Is this a sign of weakness and backsliding? Is this a testament to who I am as a person and the fact that I am so alone that I do not have anybody I can even call to talk to when I am really struggling, other than a helpline? What does that say about me as a person?
I decided to write this because I wanted you to know that you are never alone, even when you feel you are. Even if you need to lean on a helpline, please, for God's sake, do that.
I am working on creating an online support community that will be available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If there is someone else in the space, you can talk. It is not ready yet, but I think I should try to expedite it. Even if it’s just a single space to start with, I will work on trying to make a space available as soon as I can.
I have a lot of anxiety about doing this, but if I am struggling, then there are probably other people struggling. This is bigger than I am; I think I feel called to make something available soon. I will try to do that. The only thing stopping me is me. But in the meantime, if you are struggling, please reach out to someone—anyone. I am sharing a couple of resources that I hope you will use if you find yourself needing help.
I am making myself vulnerable by posting this, but if it helps just one person, that is all I can pray for. Hugs.
Asking for help is brave and can bring healing and support when times are tough. Remember, you are not alone, and there are free resources to help you.
Helplines give you quick emotional support from trained professionals who get what you’re feeling. These services are private and easy to access, providing a safe place to talk about your feelings.
You can choose to talk on the phone or chat online, depending on what makes you comfortable. Don't wait to reach out; taking that first step can really help.
Find a Helpline is a good resource for immediate support through helplines and hotlines worldwide. It connects you to over 1,300 helplines in more than 130 countries, offering free and confidential emotional support. Various services are available, including suicide prevention, domestic violence assistance, and mental health resources for issues like anxiety and depression.
Helplines are available based on your specific needs through an intelligent ranking algorithm, ensuring people receive relevant and timely support. Available 24/7 - Reach out for help whenever you need to; judgment-free environment for open conversation!
The 988 Lifeline is free and confidential. It’s available 24/7, primarily as a resource for people in the United States. It is part of the national mental health hotline system established to provide support for those experiencing emotional distress or crises. It is a valuable resource for anyone in need of emotional support or facing a mental health challenge.
Help is available by phone, text, or chat, where trained counselors provide compassionate support and guidance.
Images created with Midjourney (I have a commercial license) and reprinted with permission by 988 Crisis Helpline.
#kindness #anxiety #depression #help #suicide #crisis #mentalhealth #cwh
