*Note~ This post is probably best for those that understand what a "twinflame" is and have had the experience. (not to dictate who can read this, just that it might be uninteresting to those that aren't experiencing this particular phenomenon) I use the word "twinflame" or "TF" just so others will know what I'm talking about, I don't particularly enjoy that title. Photo from picjumbo.
I have wanted to get all my thoughts down about the twin-flame phenomenon for awhile now. AND, I know what alot of people think of it that haven't experienced it. It's false, ridiculous, dream world, newage bunk, etc......
And I myself did not believe it either. However, that's changed. AND, what this actually is is still maybe a little to the side of what I've read from others, though not completely.
To be honest, I'm not completely clear what it's about.
It started I personally think, with a visit from an in-law that had died several months earlier. It was a visit from him that totally changed me. I no longer felt the Creator was far away anymore and I began to understand gradually things that I never could....touch....before. There was a kind of disconnect that I had with the Divine.
And even though I'm a very spiritual person, the older I got, the farther away it seemed to be, till this event with my in-law.
I had a kind of download of information from him, things about him I didn't fully realize and one thing he wanted me to do. He is and was a very interesting person and I was rather taken back that he'd come to me of all people after death.
It opened me up having that experience and I had a series of events that led me to fall for Korea. The only other place I've ever felt that drawn to was Ireland. But this was different, it became almost obsessive for me, all things Korean, it was like discovering your homeland from long ago. That is what I thought at the time. I held the notion that it may have been some kind of strong link to a past life. To this day I believe there is something with a past life there.
Gradually as I learned more about the country and culture, I naturally fell onto Kdramas and liked a couple of Kpop groups. AND, one other thing happened. I became aware of something else. I don't quite remember how it all happened, but it led me to search online for something similar. I was experiencing things, that weren't necessarily unusual, but were unusual enough to make me wonder what was going on? I found a list. This list is no longer posted. But it was a list that I was experiencing myself and when I looked to see what the list title was, I found it was a list posted by a couple that considered themselves twinflames(twinsouls) of eachother. I'd heard of the term in my youth and didn't really buy it, although soulmate I believed in, but the TF stuff and idea, just didn't buy it. I never looked into it any further in my youth.
This time I started to look around more about this and found that many TF's often would be having an experience, not knowing what it was, go online and find out it's a twinsoul experience. Many have done this. And here I was, doing the same thing as others except with me, I was just aware of someone, but hadn't met anyone, yet I was having similar experiences to the others experiencing it. This made me very skeptical about it being another person.
I spent years trying to see if this was a real phenomenon or just something manipulated by some Higher Beings or by ET's, dark forces, etc or some physical change (menopause).
At some point I did get my answer and realized yes, it was from Higher Beings, but not aliens, not physical. I'm quite sure the aliens like to mess with humans about it as a way "in". Many TF's believe they are aliens or should follow alien agendas as a roadmap for their life. I am the opposite. They have nothing to do with it in my book.
To me, it is simply, a Divine calling. I do not believe that everyone that claims a twinflame is actually a twinflame. But I also believe I cannot know from the outside looking in, unless they themselves give information that pretty much shows me. Even then I can never be too presumptuous, because everyone is an individual, I can't know their Divine Plan. But there are for me, certain things I trust and certain things I don't trust.
One of them is this. I do not believe that a person can go looking for their TF, just because they heard about it somewhere. I think it demonstrates a kind of insincerity that is necessary for TF's. I believe, and this is my personal understanding, it is something that simply "happens" to you. It's not planned. Once you have the experience, or the initial stages of it, then one tends to pursue in some form or another.
This is a mistake as well and tends to put unnecessary strain on your relation with the other twin. That may be a discussion for later.
I went in pursuit of mine. The drive for me to find him was enormous and I had hints along the way, but it took me forever to believe them. I didn't want to believe them, but later found them to be true.
I had hints he was Korean, that he was younger, more light-hearted than me. All these turned out to be true when I found him. I had trouble accepting them, because they are also what I wanted deep down, but I think I wanted them deep down, because they were true. See how that works? It's like this alot with twins. And I wanted it to be accurate and not a fairy tale, except the experience of a TF is just like a fairy tale. I kid you not. It really is. It has all this supernormal stuff that happens and experiences that are just like some Kdrama or similar. It's just kinda comical how it's like this, but TF's know what I'm talking about. I often just feel like a puppet with this phenomenon, because of it's nature to begin with.
So I finally found him. But it was after I stopped looking. I went on a dating site thinking I'd meet him there. I talked to alot of people on social media. I kept feeling like he was online somewhere, even though I heard these constant words of people that meant well, "go out and date some Koreans, go find a nice guy in the REAL world".
Hahahahaha!
Thankfully, my instincts were stronger than their words, though I did plenty of second-guessing.
I did find him after I finally realized that my pursuit of looking for him was more like a way to learn more about a person I'd never met. I had many odd things happen that wouldn't allow other males to stay with me for long. I started to realize it was the "twin" doing this. He was preventing these guys from getting close to me to the point of marriage.
I was told by many other people on a TF forum, that I needed to let go of him and looking for him. Though the drive was strong, I knew they were right and I let it all go.
