In a bid to extend our love and care towards our family and friends sometimes they would rather prefer we don't intrude in their privacy feeling they could handle themselves, while this is true in some cases, it isn't always true all the time, so when or how do we know when to draw the line of privacy while reaching out to our loved ones?
This is one of the questions I've had to battle for years now as the eldest sibling and always constantly shuffling being there for my siblings, also as someone very sensitive to the issue of privacy because I'm also guilty of wanting to bask in the aura of my private life and moment, not wanting anyone to interfere with what I have going on at that moment, especially in my down moments, but the truth is that we can not always have the strength to face our struggles alone at all times, we need that special friend or family to share our burden with us, they might not help physically but mere having a listening ear helps liberate us from the weight of our worries but how then do they know that I really need their hands of support stretched out even though I say otherwise, wanting my privacy.
I've got a sister who also acts the same way, maybe worse than me, because she locks out from everyone emotionally and physically when she is going through some challenges, and we would always hear her use the words "she wants her privacy" and doesn't want anyone to intrude, to the extent of locking her room doors against everyone, she would stay indoors all through the day and this attitude gets everyone worried as my parent would start walking on eggshells around her not wanting to provoke her the more.
Sometimes I ignore her as well especially in cases where I feel it isn't a severe issue, maybe she is probably having mood swings from her monthly women visitor, and I just let her be, being the drama Queen she is, but other times when I feel it's something serious, especially when I have no clue about what she is going through, trust me not to let her be, not in an intrusive manner but more stylishly, I might act as if I need her help on something this first help me gain access to her room which is always her first barrier against letting anyone in, once I'm in, I don't go straight asking her what the matter is, but rather use reverse psychology, distracting her from her thoughts to something else to lighten her mood, in the heat of the moment, it doesn't take long before she bares her mind about her worries, which I listen carefully to and make sure to advice in a way that she also sees the light with that I have rendered the support and care which was very needed than the requested privacy.
Everyone is unique, and as families, it is important we understand our family members' personalities and be able to read when there are changes in their mood, and overall attitude, before that moment, show that you care, because your care isn't only needed when they are down but always, and this will be the easier way to let you in even when they desire privacy.
