I've mentioned a few things here going on in my life lately. I've decided to add to what I've already written, though not of all it is really related to one another, other than they've happened to me or are ongoing.
I guess that means this won't be a post of random thoughts, but not quite geared to just one topic, either. It will probably read like a series of journal entries. In as much as this could very well be for posterity as much as it is for any of you who might take the time to read it now, I guess the style is apropos.
Life through a dirty window. You can miss the smile of encouragement even though it's sitting there in plain sight.
Also, I think I should say I'm doing okay, even though a lot of this stuff isn't exactly positive and I won't be trying to sugarcoat it. That said, I wouldn't put any of it in the tragic category, either. Life is throwing some curve balls, as it is wont to do, and we're taking life as it comes one base at a time.
Now that we have the out of season baseball analogy out of the way...
Or at least as close as I want anyone to get. If only things worked that way.
It's been quite a few weeks ago now, but my oldest son's wife went to be tested for the novel Coronavirus.
Why?
She attended a church leadership meeting where one of the members of the council later tested positive for the virus. Others were tested and subsequently cleared. The meeting was on a Sunday, and she had to wait until the upcoming Friday to get tested, then wait until the following Sunday evening to get the results.
In the meantime, my wife and I were basically waiting to see if we might need to get tested, too, since their family came over that same Sunday. In our state, unless you have COVID-19 symptoms, or have been in direct contact with someone who has the virus, testing is highly discouraged.
Fortunately, her results came back negative, which we suspected, since none of us came down with any symptoms in the interim. As it was, the meeting was held adhering to the protocols of the time: everyone was seated and maintained a distance of at least six feet, and all were wearing masks.
I've mentioned being laid off thanks to renewed COVID-19 restrictions in counties considered at extreme risk here in Oregon. I also mentioned I picked up a cold over a week ago. Relatively speaking, the former is worse than the latter, but does bad news have to reach a certain level in order to count?
Also, I think I'm already over the cold (lasted about a week) thanks to Vitamin C and Immune Boosting gummies, ZiCam dosing and lots of rest and liquids.
Regardless, the next bit of news I'm counting as bad are the results from blood tests my wife got back after a routine annual physical.
Her liver has a new layer of fat on it, her kidneys are inflamed (don't know how much), and her bad cholesterol level is up.
Apparently, though, her doctor is expecting that she can correct all three things through an improved diet and more exercise, since she was given over a dozen pages of what to eat and what not to eat, with several foods actually conflicting depending on which malady she's trying to fight.
She's been told about her liver and cholesterol before. The kidneys are a new twist. Last time she got the results, she was told to change her diet. She wants to, which means, of course, I need to go along with her. Which I have no problem doing for the sake of her health and mine. Last time, it didn't happen, at least not to the extent it needed to be done, obviously.
This time, I think she might be taking it more seriously. Doing so in between Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year isn't the ideal time, but I'm hoping that by sometime in January we can have some kind of new menu up and running.
Well, I've been working a little bit since I was officially laid off.
Funny thing is, I worked about 5.5 hours last week before the layoff was official, but this week, I've worked over 10.
I didn't think I was going to work at all. Monday and Tuesday went by, the days I would normally be sent to the coast to fill a few ATMs. But late afternoon on Tuesday I got a text asking if I would have time to make the run on Wednesday.
I said yes. I was also told to collect from as many places as I could get into.
This is the first full week since the state of Oregon came out of a "freeze" order issued by our governor. Since last Thursday, counties have been divided up into different categories of risk: Low, Medium, High and Extreme. The latter as of December 3, had the majority of the counties in it, a total of 26.
So, even though a couple of counties I work in are back to a less restrictive situation than they were during the freeze, they still haven't had a whole lot of business in a week. So, even though I stopped at over a half dozen places, only three had much of any money to speak of in the machines.
Because of making the extra rounds beyond the ATMs I needed to fill, I ended up with about 8.5 hours on Wednesday. The rest of the time I worked came from yesterday and today.
After getting the hours I did on Tuesday, I wasn't expecting to have any more for the rest of the week, but the general manager was leaving town to transport some games they'd sold to someone and so basically I've been doing things he would otherwise do.
Yesterday, it was fill more ATMs. All were local so I didn't have to go very far. This afternoon, it was one of the ATMs locked up with a dispensing error, so I was asked to check it out. Fortunately, it proved an easy fix.
I don't know how often I've heard or read that phrase over the last several months, but it's become the go to slogan for battling the coronavirus.
I don't want anyone to get sick. I don't want to end up inadvertently causing anyone to get sick, even if my views on mask wearing are not in step with the guidelines. I've worn one for work because I've been told to, and I wear one the few and very brief times I set foot in a public place otherwise to avoid a scene.
However, I'm not feeling the least bit of togetherness here.
There are a small group of people who are making the decisions that are affecting my financial well-being, and I'm not included in it.
There are people who aren't going to wear a mask no matter what and others who think not wearing a mask is a federal offense. I don't fit in either group, despite my misgivings, so hard to feel the love there, either.
Aside from the response to the pandemic, there's a whole host of other issues I haven't been feeling very together with others, either. The more things go along, the more I find it hard to find those "like-minded" people everyone seems to be searching for.
I found myself in three different conversations within a day's time about the coronavirus, and each time, I felt like the odd man out. Mainly either because I said too much, or with too much exasperation, or something. There aren't only different thoughts on how this should all be playing out, but there's also different levels of dedication to it.
The pizza guy I spoke with first was probably the most sympathetic. He seemed genuinely concerned when he asked if I was keeping busy and I told him no. It's not the first time he's asked. The other times, I gave it a little more of a positive spin, because it was the truth. Things were picking up and I was getting in more hours.
This time, though, aside from assuring him my wife and I are okay financially for the immediate future, there wasn't much to spin. The pizza place he works for is open for business, but can't have indoor dining yet, so that means very few people are inside waiting for a pizza, and less are playing the games there.
He's working because pizza lends itself to takeout and people are still doing that.
And good for him. I'm glad. I hope more people can continue to work despite the restrictions, but I know many are in a situation like I am.
The second conversation was with the bowling alley owner, who's not too fond of what's been going on and has been pretty vocal about it. While I'm not in agreement with the restrictions as they've been imposed, I was telling him I thought it made more sense to finally restrict by county because at least it wasn't a one size fits all solution to the problem.
Keep things contained in your county and you should be able to benefit from your efforts.
However, the bowling guy wasn't even happy with that. I was looking for the silver lining and in the process, I was splitting hairs. He didn't think that anyone should be telling any of us what we could and couldn't do. "It needs to be live and let live," he said, meaning, people are going to come down with the virus and we needed to live with that fact. It also meant that the repercussions of closing down businesses in attempt to curb it was akin to the cure being worse than the disease.
I should have just kept my mouth shut. I'm not a Polyanna, and I shouldn't go attempting to be one, since I don't go around being a Chicken Little either. You need to know the score, but hand wringing rarely produces a solution.
The last conversation was with my boss. He was trying to be positive, saying we might have some counties getting out of the extreme risk category, meaning more businesses would open up. I've been watching the numbers and told him that we might actually see a couple of counties close, rather than others open. Again, I should have just let him have his moment of optimism, since he seems to be under so much stress all the time.
I think he might have been thinking about me and the other two employees who have been laid off, trying to be encouraging. That's okay. I appreciate the sentiment. I don't need a whole lot of optimism to keep functioning, though. I've been around long enough to know that a lot of life tends to bounce in between the highest of highs and the lowest of lows and that it's okay.
Things don't have to be rosy and hunky dory all the time, because while they could certainly be better, they could definitely be worse. Finding happiness when things aren't the best is where most of us need to be, because life doesn't hand most of us what we want, when we want it.
I'm okay with that.
I'm still at the crossroads I mentioned months ago. I don't feel like I've really gone down any particular path, though time keeps marching on and I'm not exactly standing still. Stuff keeps being taken out of my hands, though. I'm less in control of my own situation than I should be.
I think moving out of this state will help some, maybe a lot, but it won't make things perfect or even ideal. Maybe just a little less relentless. Problem is, most of my family is here, even if we don't see each other or even keep in contact very much. We're not going to have any family or know anyone anyplace I might want to move us. The last thing I think we need is more uncertainty.
The problem is, the more we hang around, the worse things seem to get, and sometimes the only thing you can do is get out of the situation you're in.
I think we've reached that point.
Last thing.
There's a few reasons.
The weather generally turns cold, and rainy, and then the time change makes it dark for most of a day.
It's also the time where the most bills come due. Aside from the monthly bills, there's the water and sewer bill that comes every other month, the quarterly life insurance bill and the killer, the property tax bill, that we end up paying in three parts because it's so high.
When we first moved here, our property taxes were less than $2,000. Fifteen and half years later, they're over $5,000. Part of it is our home value has not quite doubled, which is good when we go to sell. The bad is, we're paying more for a public school district our children never used and the administrative bill of the town we live in has increased in size along with its population.
I generally end up looking forward to November because of Thanksgiving, despite everything else. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on the perspective) I can't enjoy the meal associated with the holiday nearly as much as I used to, and because of the freeze, we couldn't have more than my wife and I and my oldest son's family over without being in violation of the restrictions on gathering.
Now it's December. We've spent money on gifts for Christmas, and I just paid the annual house insurance bill, which went up because, as the insurance company we have seems to be more than happy to inform us, claims were up.
Remember that togetherness I wasn't feeling earlier? Still not feeling it.
Okay. That's probably enough catching up for now. No doubt, there will be plenty more I can chronicle at a future time.
Image courtesy of Glen Anthony Albrethsen
