Falling out of love is a painful experience, especially when it’s a relationship that has led to marriage. It’s different when it’s just dating, a phase of getting to know each other where it’s possible to find red flags or anything that can make us lose interest suddenly. Both parties can just walk away and pretend nothing happened, but with marriage, it’s a different ball game.
It might sound impossible, but it’s very possible. I have read stories about how marriages fall apart just months after the whole celebration. It doesn’t mean there was no love from the foundation, but things just happen, and the feelings or emotions just vanish. Most times, it has to do with marrying for the wrong reason. A guy once told me that after his wife had their first child, she became less attractive to him, and he got another girl far from home.
Someone like that values the body more than whatever it is they shared, and because the hourglass shape is gone or there are stretch marks, he is done. Similarly, it’s the same for ladies who marry for money; when the guy has a bit of financial crisis, they lose feelings because the fuel keeping the fire between them burning is no longer there. Other times, it’s for more severe reasons like lack of commitment, infidelity, and others.
Falling out of love in my marriage is not something that has ever crossed my mind, but after thinking about it very well, I guess it’s why it took me so long to tie the knot with my girlfriend. We both had to be sure of what we are getting into, certain that we understand each other and can embark on the lifelong journey without doubts.
But let’s assume the unexpected happens. My first approach would be acknowledging that truly, I had lost interest in the marriage. While we were dating, I did something silly one morning after thinking that I wasn’t really in love with my girlfriend, and guess what, I put a call across to her saying that we should take a break. She asked why, and I explained my reasons. The next day, I woke up and texted her first; she didn’t reply, and I got worried.
She finally replied with, “I thought we were done,” and I immediately apologized. There are times like that when we just get confused and mix things up unnecessarily. So, I have to be sure that I had really fallen out of love and it’s not just confusion.
After confirming it’s real, I will communicate my feelings to my spouse, letting her know what’s going on. If she feels the same way, I think there is no two ways about it; divorcing is the best option to avoid bigger problems.
I have seen marriages where couples had fallen out of love and still endure each other, but it’s all about domestic violence. They fight at every slight issue, pass aggression unnecessarily, and their kids are suffering. They would have done themselves a lot of good walking away if they don’t have any hope of living happily and peacefully.
But if she hasn’t fallen out of love with me and I have a bit of hope that we can work things out, I would definitely put in some effort. We can go for therapy, counseling, and any other things that might help me develop the feelings or love we shared again.
Hopefully, things work out, but if they don’t, walking away would be a good option because I don’t want to be a monster in the end. I wouldn’t stop supporting her, but honestly, I can’t even imagine this happening to me.
All Image Are Mine.