Attending parties is not my thing and many who have known how disappointing I can be when it comes to attending parties don't bother inviting me anymore. My relationship with people doesn't determine whether I will attend a party because once I can imagine how uncomfortable going to the party will be, I get turned off immediately.
I can count all the parties I have attended in my life and I didn't have a choice but to attend many of them. Most of them were during my time in the polytechnic, I and my gang usually gatecrash parties because it was one of the things we did to survive.
Image belong to me
We have a fixed white dress for Saturday and we do go around collecting info about parties during the week so by weekend, we roll out.
A few of the parties were fantastic, we had enough and even went home with surplus food and drink after one of us pretended to be part of the family just to ensure we were served very well, and on some occasions, it didn't end well. I remembered a particular party we were told that there was no meat again and we shamefully took the rice because it was the only hope for the weekend.
Choosing the funniest thing that happened at a party I once attended is pretty difficult because I remembered a few that were very funny.
In 2018, I was invited to a burial in Ogun state and I told the person I won't be attending. I bought the party dress and just dropped it at my tailor's place but about a week before the party, the wife of the host reached out to me to know if I would be attending.
I told her that I won't be attending because of the distance and she felt down. We were very close and I felt it wasn't right to turn her down but traveling wasn't my thing not to speak of parties.
The next day, she called to inform me that she has paid for my seat on a chartered bus. I didn't have a choice but to attend because has done her best to bring me to the party.
I went to the take-off point and there were three buses that day, I joined the most convenient bus for the two hours trip to Ijebu Remo and that would be the second time I traveled out of Lagos for a party.
The woman was happy to see me and I haven't even settled down before I was served some appetizer. I was slowly taking it when the husband came to welcome me and those we traveled together started wondering what my relationship was with the couple for getting special treatments.
The husband left for a while and returned with a bottle of alcoholic wine. He gave it to me with disposable cups and I just placed them on the table. I poured some of the drink into the cup and after tasting it, I knew it was a strong wine. I checked the alcohol percentage and it was 14% so I gently sipped to avoid embarrassing myself.
Among the women who sat at my table told me to pour her some wine which I did and after the first sip, she requested that I gave her more. The other women at the table asked for a cup as well and I served them.
I was still sipping the first cup when these women finished the bottle among themselves. I guess they didn't want me to enjoy the wine alone and they didn't know I was a cheerful giver.
We chatted at the table, food was served and I really enjoyed the catfish pepper soup that was served. Another bottle of wine was brought those women did justice to it.
We were preparing to leave when one of the women started saying jargon and I knew that they have had too much to drink.
I was surprised to see one of the women crying and I knew immediately that I won't be able to handle what would happen at the table. She was getting people's attention and suddenly, she started screaming that she can't find her daughter.
We tried calming her down but she wouldn't listen, she said that her husband would be mad at her if she didn't take the girl home.
As far as I could remember, I and all the women at my table boarded the same bus and none of them came with a child. This woman refuse to leave the party hall and we had to carry her to the bus.
She cried more than half of the trip before she slept off and I began to doubt if she has taken alcohol before. I alighted first and didn't get to meet the woman since that day, I would have loved to remind her and warn her against alcohol.
Whenever the discussion about the event comes up, we can't help but laugh at the scene the woman created that day.
