To heck with treading water, I want to levitate above it! I'm going to make a preemptive apology to anyone who reads this post , it's going to be a bit of a rambling ranty, anecdotal mess, with probably a bit of a point, but considering the state of my overtaxed mind, even having comprehensive cohesion at this juncture is a bit a stretch.
What am I on about? Well, for starters, after a 16 day whirlwind of a vacation that really wasn't all that restful, but was rather full of adventure, we plunked down on the ground at Spokane International Airport and hurtled for home. The old adage is true, there really is no place home. I am have been in a state of partial internal contentment since I have returned, mainly because this creature won't leave my side and keeps requiring hugs. I am not ashamed to admit that I have given them.
Well, I got back to the farm Saturday afternoon, unpacked, cleaned, washed dishes, hugged the corgi, did laundry, etc...All the things you do when you get back from a trip. Silly me was thinking that after podcasting on Sunday that I could rest. I am hilarious sometimes.
No less that a dozen people descended on my humble abode yesterday, which was day 17 in a row with people. Don't give me wrong, I love people, but my introverted soul really needs a quiet, replenishing day on occasion, it really, really it does.
So, of course the following morning I had to go to work. People have the assumption that libraries are quiet, serene spaces (ha ha ha), especially during the Rona. No. Yesterday was a holds processing, needy computer patron extravaganza! Normally, I thrive in such a setting, but yesterday was day 18 surrounded by people. I felt my resolve weakening and the maniacalness peaking through the cracks.
There's also a little bit of extra that is adding to it all. Our country is in a bit of a turmoil. So, on top of everything I had people calling me asking if the President had declared the Insurrection Act, why was their Walmart cleared out of everything, was it due to martial law?, all manner of You Tube videos and conspiracy theories sent my way, a cruise boat load of vitriolic Banta poo to wade through, and a whole lot of stories iterated my way full of all manner of anxiety ridden and just plain bad behavior.
Today is day 19 of no break from people. Mentally, I just tell myself to live in the moment and walk through existence as it is, not fretting about what I can't control or is in the future, nor lamenting what is in the past. It is just really hard to stay focused when you can't get away from the noise and the emotional tornado that is collectively emanating from pretty much everyone these days.
I read a quote that made me smile recently: "There have never been so many opportunities to be told what to think by people who don't think." Even in the midst of a trifecta of exhaustion on all fronts, I think it is so important to remind myself and others of the value of critically examining all the things, all of the time. Yes, it takes effort, yes, I just want to grab a steampunk novel of escapist excellence and flee, but right now it's important to wade through the noise and consider what's what right in the moment.
Now most of this post is the ramblings of an over-taxed Hobbit, which since this is my blog, I am perfectly entitled to do. I think the main point of sharing my current internal state with you all is to serve as a reminder to examine, think, and question all of the time, in all things, even when you are a touch overwrought, while also not neglecting to take care of your form. Tomorrow, Day 20, I am retreating for the day. Well, as much as you can when you have school aged children, but rest assured, I won't be neglecting the inquiry part of life, just going on standby for a restive and bit of a reprieve recharging of a bit.:)
And as most of the time, all of the images in this post were taken on the author's not at all depleted like she is iPhone.
